The last resort
by Quitting Time
Summary: Jade has become completly catatonic since the sudden death of her fiance in an terrible accident. Not responding to any treatment or words from family and friends. They turn to the one person who hasn't tried, to try and bring her back. A person who once broke Jade's heart. Her ex girlfriend, Tori Vega. A Jori Story.
1. Shattered Dreams

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 1 - Shattered dreams**

**Important author's Note: Any dialogue in Italics is in Tori's head. She is imagining what Jade would probably say to her.**

Tori grunted in disbelief as she spoke into the phone. "I don't see how I could be any help here Cat. She despises me. I'm the last person she would ever want to see."

"_Actually Sinjin is the last person I would ever WANT to see. You, I don't want to see at all_."

Cat's voice was pleading. "Everyone has tried to get through to her, me, Robbie, Andre Beck, her parents. You're the only one left who hasn't tried."

"Cat, you phrase it like I don't care, like I don't feel bad for what happened to Jade and Krista. They were planning a life together and I was staying away. I had my chance and I blew it. After the accident I simply didn't think there was anything I could do to help. I was the one that cheated on her with Mark, I was the one the ruined our relationship. I fucked up and I didn't want to fuck up her life anymore. Besides, she lives in L.A. and I'm in New York. Remember?" Tori barked angrily.

Tori was angry at the whole situation, it was compounded by a feeling of helplessness and regret. After 3 years of being together Jade and Tori hit a rough patch while in college. They were both busy and each felt neglected by the other. Tori was appearing in a play with Mark, a senior who she had become very good friends with. In the play they played man and wife and had been working very close together. Jade didn't like it, but didn't stop Tori from being in the play. One night after a long day of rehearsals, Tori and Mark went out for drinks. Tori spoke of how her and Jade had been fighting badly earlier that day. Mark at that point told Tori he had fallen for her. In a moment of Impulsive weakness, Tori kissed Mark. Once she crossed the threshold it was all to easy to simply gave in, so that night Tori slept with Mark.

Feeling horrible about it, Tori admitted to the affair to Jade and begged forgiveness the next day. Furious, Jade dumped Tori on the spot and said she never wanted to speak to her again. Having being cut out of Jade's life completely, a heartbroken Tori moved to NY to finish college there.

Through Cat who remained friends with Jade, Tori learned that Jade a year later had begun to see a girl named Krista. She played Cello with a local orchestra and was said to be a very talented musician. Tori threw herself into her work in Broadway trying to forget the mistake destroyed the relationship with the woman she loved. On a trip to L.A. to see her parents she ran into Krista and Jade at a restaurant. The encounter was brief, but very awkward and tense. Tori's already broken heart was crushed even further when she saw how happy Jade looked. It was that same look of happiness that she once saw when they were together. Tori could only see hatred and contempt for her in Jade's eyes. It was then and there that Tori knew that Jade had moved on. She put on her best fake smile, wished them well and went home to pack to leave cutting her trip short.

That encounter was 2 and half years ago. Tori had dated and had a steady girlfriend for almost a year, but she didn't really love that person so the relationship slowly died out. No one could replace Jade in her heart. Just a month and half ago, Tori learned that Krista had proposed to Jade and she said yes. All the old feelings that she tried to forget suddenly came rushing back.

2 weeks ago Tori had gotten a late night call from Cat. The tearful Cat told Tori that Jade and Krista where driving home from dinner in the rain and had an accident. Their car had hit a large puddle and lost control and hit a tree. Krista was killed instantly, but Jade only suffered a broken arm, a minor concussion and a number of cuts.

Despite their history, Tori felt terrible for Jade. Her and Krista had just gotten engaged and were planning their wedding. She didn't want to see Jade suffer in such a horrible way. She had an impulse to go to Jade, but didn't. She wasn't in the Goth's life anymore, she was the one that messed up. Worried that she would only bring Jade even more pain, Tori stayed away.

But tonight Tori got a phone call from Cat. In the call Cat, begged Tori to talk to Jade, who had completely withdrawn inside herself. When they arrived at the scene of the accident, the police found a sobbing Jade holding onto Krista's bloodied corpse. When pulled away from her dead girlfriend, Jade became catatonic. Since that night, Jade had yet to speak a word or even move. Cat explained, how Jade spends day after day sitting in bed, starring blankly off into space.

"Tori, she needs you." Cat pleaded.

"_ENNNT….Sorry wrong guess, the answer we were looking for was. I need Vega as much as the tree that killed my girlfriend."_

A tear came to Tori's eye. "No she doesn't. She needs Krista, that's the woman she loves, not me. There's nothing I can do. She hates me and for good reason."

"Please, everyone has tried. She won't respond to anyone or any kind of treatment. If she doesn't soon, she'll have to be admitted to a mental hospital. I know you don't want to hurt her anymore, but do it. For me if not Jade. I know you still love her Tori. Please"

"_Yawn…"_

Tori could hear the desperation in Cat's voice. The thought of Jade being put into some psych ward to live out her days was simply too much. Broken or not, her heart couldn't handle it. Tori stayed away because she thought it would help, but now going to Jade would be the only course of action that would.

"Ok" Tori said softly. "I'll be there tomorrow afternoon."

Just about 24 hours later a very nervous Tori was walking down the hallway outside Jade's hospital room. Standing in front of the room was Cat and Jade's mother. With every approaching step Tori's heart seemed to beat faster.

"What would Mrs. West say to me?" Thought Tori. She hadn't spoken to Jade's parents since the break up some 3 and a half years ago. Even before that Tori and Jade's mother had what would be considered a coldly civil relationship. Tori knew that for whatever reason, Allison West didn't like her. Would she curse me? Would she tell me to leave? Those questions and more thundered through Tori's head.

As Tori approached Mrs. West smiled and extended her hand. Being an actress, Tori sensed instantly that the smile and the polite demeanor were utterly false. "Hello Tori? Thank you ever so much for coming."

Tori shook Mrs. West's hand. "Thank you Mrs. West. I'm not sure if I can help. How is she doing?" Tori said in a rather humble fashion.

"_Oh…Let's see. My fiancé is dead. The girl I hate more than life itself has just showed up and I can't move or speak. In other words. Just peachy. Next stupid question_."

"Please call me, Allison. Physically she's fine, other than a broken arm. But…" There was a sad pause for a moment. "She shattered and has retreated deeply inside herself. I think she blames herself. She was driving the car and the cops said, the witness said she was speeding in the pouring rain."

Allison West sighed. "Just the day before they picked out their wedding rings. Krista was such a nice girl, always thinking of others. She was so very talented as well. Jade wasn't a classical music lover at first but Krista converted her. We all loved her. Jade loved her so much."

Tori suddenly felt about 20 times worse than she did only moments before. She wasn't sure if that's what Allison speech was designed to do, but it certainly had that effect. Jade's mother was a cold woman who rarely complimented anyone, doing so even less than Jade did. It was like she was saying. Krista was all the things that you weren't. Tori suspected that if Allison had her way, she would not be there. But Tori knew if she couldn't bring Jade out, than no one could. She knew she was the last resort.

Tori half thought of calling Allison out on the spot but chose to turn the other cheek. "I'll do what I can."

"You just do your best Tori." As she said it, Tori could see her facade slip. There was a noticeable condescending air to Allison's voice.

"You can do it Tori." Cat said, with a pat on the Back, sounding much more genuine

Without any further ado, Tori walked past Cat and Allison into Jade's room. It was a single hospital room, looking rather unremarkable with brown carpeting and tan walls. Jade was sitting motionless in a wheelchair in front of the window. Outside, the sky was turning orange as the sun began to set. Though a beautiful scene, Jade watched it with a blank, almost vacant expression on her face.

By this point Tori's heart was racing and her mouth began to dry up. Inside, her emotions were a swirling cauldron of guilt, remorse, pain and regret. Tori closed the door behind her and carefully studied Jade.

"_You're wasting your time Vega! Actually you are a waste of time_."

She was dressed in a blue hospital gown, and a pink cast was on her left arm. Her hair was longer. The black locks running down to the middle of her back.

"_I swear to god, if I find the asshole that put a pink cast on my arm. They're going to need a lot more than just a single cast." _Tori imagined the rant that Jade would give seeing a pink cast on her arm.

"She's not my Jade anymore. She's Krista's Jade now. But Krista's is dead and I'm all that's left. I am truly Jade's last resort." Tori pondered as she stood in front of the door.

"Jade." Tori said in a soft voice.

**I had this idea buzzing around my head and I just had to get it out. So I took a break from "The Bet" and burned this out. I was intending it to be a short one shot but it got away from me. It won't be terribly long however. I'll get back to the bet very soon. **

**As I said the dialogue in italics is in Tori's head. She still feels guilty for what she did and it's a semi manifestation of her guilt. She's not schizophrenic or anything like that. So don't think she's cracked. **

**I keep writing stories where Jade and Tori have been separated and brought back together. I'm not sure why exactly. **

**I'd like to thank Invader Johnny for his suggestions for this story. **


	2. Picking up the pieces

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 2 – Picking up the pieces**

**Tori's POV**

If there was any reaction, I couldn't see it. The Goth sat like a statue just starring out of the window.

I took a couple of unsure steps into the room, feeling very much like an intruder. The words "Krista's territory" ran through my mind.

"I'm not really sure what to say Jade. You were more confident with your words than I ever was. Cat begged me to come and talk with you. I'm so very sorry about Krista." I wasn't sure if Jade would believe me in saying that I was sorry about Krista. But like before, Jade did nothing.

Gathering up my courage, I closed the distance, pulled up a chair next to Jade's wheelchair and sat down. Her eyes were open but her expression was blank. I took a moment to study the Goth's eyes, to try and get a feeling for what was going on inside that head. But I could read nothing in Jade's blank quiet stare out the window. Her only movement was the occasional blinking of her eyes which wasn't that often.

I felt so helpless and guilty and for a few minutes sat quietly next to Jade. Part of me wanted to hold Jade's hand, but I decided to not cross that boundary. Much to my regret, I knew perfectly well that I had forfeited any right to touch Jade.

"I'm the last resort. That's why I'm here. I say that because I know the first words out of your mouth upon seeing me here would be. What the fuck are you doing here? If you don't snap out of this, they will transfer you to a mental hospital. I know you don't want that."

I could hear Jade's imaginary reply in my head. My imaginary Jade was doing the talking for her. "_How in the fuck do you know what I want Vega_?"

"It could be said that I no longer know you or what you want. I know you hate hospitals or at least you used to. Your mom says you like classical music now, that's changed but I doubt your hatred of hospitals has."

Much like the real one, imaginary Jade remained silent.

"I suppose everyone has told you how much there is too life and how you should rejoin it. How you should remember the good times and move on. Because that's what Krista would want you to do."

"_Don't you fucking dare even think of putting words in Krista's mouth Vega!_" Imaginary Jade roared.

"I honestly have no clue what Krista would say or want you to do. I met her for less than 5 minutes in probably one of the most painful and awkward moments in my life. It hardly makes me an expert on the subject of Krista Tyler."

Once again imaginary Jade, roared in anger. "_Dam fucking right Vega_!"

"As I was saying, I'm sure they said all kinds of things to try and snap you out of this. I doubt if I say any of those things it would do any good either. I know your mom outside, thinks I'm going to fail."

"_Wow, for once I agree with my mother, you are going to fail Vega_." Imaginary Jade said rather sarcastically

"I stayed away because I didn't want to make anything worse. My first instinct was to come to you right away when the accident happened."

"_Was that the same instinct that caused you to fuck your co star. instead of your girlfriend?"_

"But I'm here now and I'm here to help you Jade. It's the least I can do."

"_The least you could do is jump off a fucking cliff, you cheating bitch_!" I honestly had no idea if that would be Jade's real reply, but it's the one I imagine I would get. It's the one I deserve though.

At this point the door opened and Allison poked her head in. "I was just checking up on things. You're not moving Jade aren't you? I want her to stay by the window."

I could see it written all over her face, hidden under that placid smile. "You don't belong here, you don't belong with Jade." She never did seem to like me for some reason. Probably cause my dad was a lowly cop. Krista came from money and was much higher class. Krista's dad was a hedge fund manager and her mother was an opera singer. Jade didn't care much about class and money her mom did.

"Everything is fine Allison. Thanks. I'll keep Jade where she is."

After Allison shut the door I turned back to Jade. "She doesn't even want me here, I can tell."

"_Holy fuck, I agreed with my mother twice in one day._ _Call the presses, now that's fucking news_. _I don't want you here either, shithead_."

Though the imaginary Jade in my head was replying, the real one just sat here doing a dead on impression of a statue.

"You want Krista here."

"_No shit Sherlock_." Imaginary Jade replied bitterly.

"But she's gone." I said sadly.

"_FUCK YOU!"_ Imaginary Jade screamed. "_YOU SHOULD BE DEAD AND BURIED, NOT MY KRISTA! SHE ACTUALLY LOVED ME!"_

This wasn't the first time I thought what Jade's reply would be in a given situation. The Imaginary Jade in my head was bitter, cold, abusive and unforgiving. Though I knew perfectly well Imaginary Jade wasn't real, it was a form of self imposed punishment that I pulled out from time to time. Have her berate me inside my head for what ever I felt guilty about. Being here with the real Jade, Imaginary Jade was having a god dam field day. Basically imaginary Jade was all my guilt torturing me. The barbs she slings out sting, but I feel like I deserve every last one of them for hurting Jade.

For hurting my precious Jade, my true love.

"I do wish you would insult me, talk to me, say anything. Curse me out. Tell me I'm a fucking whore. It kills me to see you like this Jade. All I have is the imaginary Jade inside my head. She insults me all the time. I deserve every insult and curse she spews out."

"_You do deserve every last fucking insult. You worthless whore!"_

For an instant the corner of Jade's mouth twitched. It was as if she was going to smirk. But soon after, she was silent and motionless.

I quietly sat for several minutes just looking at Jade. Mostly I thought of the look of hurt on her face when I told Jade that I had slept with Mark. That look continues to haunt me, but now it was gone. I could feel the regret and guild filling me up inside.

As I continued to think I looked over at fly that was crawling up Jade's arm.

"_What run out useless shit to say Vega? You've been quiet to fucking long. Come on, entertain me with your useless babble as to why I'm supposed to move. Like Norman Bates in psycho, I'm not even going to swat that fly_."

Ignoring the insults of the Imaginary Jade, I reached over and swatted the fly away.

"_Going to wipe my ass too?"_

"Don't just sit here Jade. You're so talented and full of life. You've never been one to give up so easily. I know it's painful. But you have family and friends that want to help you."

A loud chuckle came from imaginary Jade. "_If you think that's going to work, you're dumber than I thought and I think you're pretty fucking stupid already_."

I sighed. "You know what? Since I have you here I'm just going to say what I've wanted to say for years. I'm sorry Jade. I fucked up." Tears began to form in my eyes. "I'm so sorry. Not a day has gone by where I haven't kicked myself for hurting you. I miss you so much. You were always so jealous of everyone I spoke to. But instead of talking about it, working it out. I decided to give you something to be really jealous about. It was a stupid impulsive decision and it cost me the love of my life." By the end of my speech I was sobbing and put my head down on the arm of Jade's wheelchair.

Imaginary Jade was silent but I heard a whisper. At first I was sure I imagined it.

"I did the same thing."

My head snapped up as she looked to the still motionless Jade. But this time the expression was different. It was one of sadness."

I never expected to succeed or even if I did, so soon. I quickly wiped my tears away. "You…You…said something. I think."

After a moment, a rather pained expression began to form on Jade's face. Just the sight of it, broke my heart. "I killed her." she said softly.

**No One's POV**

Jade seemed to break down and began to cry. The gulf between them seemed to vanish for a moment as Jade leaned forward toward in need of comfort. Tori instinctively wrapped her arms around Jade who leaned into her shoulder and cried. Tori let Jade cry and cry, just rubbing slow gentle circles on Jade's back.

After a few minutes Jade seemed to regain her senses, wipe her tears, pulled back and quieted down. Tori could once again see the gulf between them. Tori sensed, that Jade's defenses had snapped back into place.

"_I'm never going to forgive you Tori_." Imaginary Jade said mockingly.

Allison again came into the room, with a rather smug, condescending look on her face. "Well Tori, I know you tried and we do appreciate your efforts. But I have a specialist who is comi…

Tori's patience snapped. "Allison, for your information I succeeded. Jade is Back. Must you always treat me like I'm a piece of shit on your shoe?"

Jade's face darkened, "Get out!" She barked.

"You hear her Tori, You've done enough damage." Alison snapped.

Tori suddenly felt terrible for saying what she did and got up to leave as Jade requested. But before she could get a food from the chair, Jade's hand tightly gripped her arm.

"Not you." Jade hissed.

Jade then looked at her somewhat stunned mother. "I was talking to you. Get OUT!"

Alison's mouth fell open and she quickly grabbed the door handle and retreated out of the room. Tori unsure of what to do or say next, simply sat down with her hands in her lap, waiting for Jade to say something.

Jade sat there again, looking very much like before. But with one notable exception, the eyes were alive and full of emotion. It was an intense, pained sad expression.

Jade said nothing but just gazed out the window. Tori kept quiet and didn't move. Jade obviously wanted her here but made no effort to communicate. It was very odd, but Jade could be very odd at times. After a half an hour Tori began to think that Jade had retreated back into her mind.

"I failed." Tori thought sadly.

"Of course you did bozo" Imaginary Jade said quickly.

At this point, Tori felt like she needed to leave. She simply couldn't take it anymore. The feeling of failure, guilt and loss that consumed her.

As Tori got up again and began to walk away, Jade spoke without warning in a cold voice.

"Did you come here because Cat made you or because you really wanted to help me?"

Stunned by Jade's sudden words, Tori stammered. "Um…the second one."

Jade nodded and remained quiet for a moment. "Come back tomorrow afternoon. Tell the others I want to be left alone."

"Yes Jade." Tori said as she quietly walked to the door. Jade said nothing else as Tori left.

**Bonus chapter – I hope everyone is enjoying the story.**


	3. Old Familiar haunts

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 3 – Old familiar haunts.**

**Tori's POV**

I emerged from the room to see Allison and Cat. Allison was impatiently pacing back and fourth with a rather sour expression on her face. I was reminded of jade instantly when I saw it.

But it was Cat that spoke first. "Is Jade back?"

I nodded. "Yes she is. I can't say she is talking much, but she's back. She asked to be left alone."

Cat immediately threw her arms around me in a crushing hug. "Oh thank you Tori. You're wonderful."

"What did she say?" Asked Allison coldly.

"That she killed Krista and not much else." I said sadly. "Saying she's back is not very accurate, now that I think about it. She's talking and is responsive but she isn't really Jade."

"Thank you Tori." Allison said in that rather fake polite tone of voice she used all the time.

I just glared at her and turned to walk away.

"Call me!" I heard Cat call out as I got further away.

"Will do."

Getting into my rental car, I was going to drive home. Something was nagging me. Jade said she killed Krista. But she said it like she murdered her. I made a quick call to my dad to find out where the accident happened. He told me and I drove there.

It was a rather mundane, but peaceful residential neighborhood. It had all the normal trappings, tree lined streets, kids playing on well manicured lawns. Eventually I came to the spot. There was a rather distinct S curve in the street and near the end was a rather large oak tree. In fact the roads in the neighborhood were full of twists and turns. I could see the mark on it where Jade's SUV slammed into it. Parking, I got out and looked at the scene.

My father told me that the blood alcohol test they took on Jade,showed she hadn't been drinking. The accident was witnessed by a person who happened to be looking out his home window near the scene of the accident. His view was partially obstructed, but he said the car seemed to be going fast. One factor that contributed to the accident, was the fact that the nearest storm drain on the street had gotten clogged with leaves. With the drain clogged the street began to fill up with water, more than you would get with a rainstorm. When Jade's car hit the large puddle of water, it hydroplaned sideways and slammed into the tree.

In my mind I could see Jade coming out of the curve, hitting a puddle, sliding sideways and hitting the tree on the passenger side. I knew they were coming home from dinner at a restaurant called Fellini's, but I found myself wondering why did she take this route. I was told she lived with Krista on Belmont street. A direct route from Fellini's to Jades apartment would not take this way. This is a way to get there, but it was a bit longer and would add about 5 - 10 minutes onto the drive time.

"Why do you take the long route when it rains?" I said as I stood on the spot where Krista died.

I went home to my parents, where I was staying and had dinner. Trina and her husband joined us so it was like old times. It was a fun evening and I was able to take my mind off of Jade and Krista.

Lying in my bed late at night I couldn't help to look to the window. The same window where Jade once upon a time, would come through late at night to be with me. She would open the window, climb in, strip naked and slide into bed with me. Sometimes we would make love, sometimes we would just sleep in each other's arms. It didn't matter what we were doing, it was just that we were together. I eventually would leave it open for her at night, so she would be able to get in easier. I miss those days, terribly. .

But before I went to sleep, perhaps just out of habit or simple longing, I opened the window for a visitor I knew wouldn't be coming.

I slept in and did nothing most of the morning. Jade wanted me to come by in the afternoon, for reasons I didn't quite understand. But before I went to the hospital I went the florist and picked out a nice bouquet of flowers. The very least I could do was to pay my respects. I was extremely jealous of Krista and more than once felt terrible resentment. But now I just felt empty and sad. Krista had been buried in a local cemetery not far from Hollywood Art's of all places. Jade, being catatonic was unable to attend the funeral. Within minutes I found the cemetery and the grave. Again I felt like an intruder. When I was with Jade, the word "Krista's territory" came to mind. Standing on the hill where Krista was buried I could hear my imaginary Jade speak up.

"_What in the fuck are you doing here Vega? Get away from my Krista_." I heard Jade growl in my head.

Shutting the Imaginary Jade off, I placed the flowers on Krista Tyler's Grave.

"I'm so sorry Krista. I really am." I said with a heavy sigh as tears came to my eyes.

"Jade is so lost without you. I can see it. You did such wonderful Job making her happy. I would hear Cat say that all the time. You probably took better care of Jade, than I ever did. I don't really know what else to say. Maybe just, thank you for making her happy. I'll help her in any way I can. Good bye."

With that I swept an errant leaf off the grave and left and headed to Nozu for lunch. I ate alone there in the same spot where I once sat with Jade on our "Date" that Sikowitz made us go on. That was the incident that started us on our time together.

"_The biggest mistake of my life started right in that spot. Dating you_." Imaginary Jade said bitterly actually bringing a tear to my eye. It was my imagination but I can't help but feel Jade truly feels that way.

On my way to the hospital I parked in front of Hollywood arts as the lunch was just winding down. From my car I could see our old table which had just been vacated by a group of students. I smiled and remember the old days where jade and I would hold hands under the table before people knew we were dating.

I decided to make one last stop and drove to Jade's old house. I was surprised to see a for sale sign in front of it. I thought that Jade's parents moved out a few years ago, perhaps the new owners moved as well. I could see there was a box on the front porch with brochures detailing the features of the house. So as to look like a potential buyer I parked my car, grabbed a flyer and pretended to look at the house as I was thinking of buying it.

Walking around the back I could see the home was vacant. I kept thinking about the times Jade and I spent there. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to go inside. There was a basement window in the back where the lock never worked properly. Jade would use it to sneak in and out.

Trying the window, it popped open easily and once again I found myself in Jade's old home. I didn't feel like looking around, as there was only one room I wanted to see.

A few moments later I stood in the doorway of Jade's old room. Like the rest of the house it was clean and freshly painted. In Jade's room's case, it was now painted a dull green color. When it was Jade's room, the walls were a crimson color.

Memories started to flood my mind. Times we spent talking, arguing, jade holding me while we watched whatever horror movie she had gotten. But one memory stuck out as I walked in and sat down.

It was the night we made love for the first time.

"I'm a virgin Jade." I remembered saying, probably the most nervous I'd ever been my life. "I'm giving it to you."

Jade smiled and made no rude comment, snarky remark or even smirked, much to my relief.

"I love you Tori." She said with an very unjade like amount of tenderness, as she took my hand and walked me to her bed.

"I love you too Jade."

Overcome with memories and regret I simply began to sob. I had taken a relationship with the most wonderful woman in the world and I destroyed it. I wanted it all back, so badly but even now that seemed like an utter impossibility.

After composing myself, I left the house, having enough of my bittersweet tour of the city. I then headed to the hospital with a rising sense of nervousness. Why did Jade want me to come back? My inner Jade was oddly quiet on the subject, me not being able to think of anything snarky for her to say.

Coming to Jade's room I could see no one waiting outside like the previous evening. At just after 1:30 I opened the door to Jade's room an knocked.

"_Just do yourself a favor and buzz off won't you_."

"Jade?" I said with some trepidation.

"Enter" I heard Jade say with little emotion.

Walking in, I could see Jade sitting there much as she was yesterday. Only her hospital gown was green instead of blue. But like the day before she was sitting in a wheelchair looking out the window.

I pulled up a chair and sat down next to Jade, taking a moment to study her expression. Like yesterday it was pained and sad.

Though I wasn't sure why she wanted me back, I was pretty sure she would say little if anything. Sitting down Jade only glanced at me for a about a second and then proceeded to stare out the window again. The room was suddenly filled with a very awkward silence.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked cautiously.

Jade seemed to cringe slightly at the question, but otherwise said nothing. I know it was a stupid question but it was all I could think of. I waited patiently for about 10 minutes, waiting for Jade to say something. Perhaps she was waiting for me to speak but in any case the silence filled the room until it was practically deafening.

"_I have nothing to say to you_."

I finally couldn't take it. "Do you need anything Jade?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"No" Jade said softly, without even bothering to look at me.

For several minutes more silence reigned. I just wasn't sure what to say. She wanted me here but she no longer seems interested in me. I know she doesn't trust me. I was tempted to ask about the route Jade and Krista took home from the restaurant but decided it was very unwise at this point.

My spirits seemed to fall as time dragged on. Finally I sighed and rubbed my face.

"You can leave if you want to." Jade said. with a slightly bitter tone to her voice.

"I'll be honest here Jade. I…I…don't really know what to say. You asked me to come but here, you practically ignore my presence."

Jade turned to look at me. "Why are you here?"

It was a confusing question. "Because you wanted me to come?"

A guarded look came to her face. "Is that the only reason?"

"No…I want to help you Jade."

Jade seemed to think. "If I hadn't asked you to come today, would you still want to?"

I nodded.

She seemed to study me for a moment. "But you didn't come right away after the accident. I'd guess that Cat had to beg you. Why?"

I suddenly felt very empty. "I wasn't a part of your life anymore. I was afraid that my presence would only complicate things. I did break you heart after all."

A look of pain flashed across Jades face as she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Is that the only reason you stayed away?"

I shook my head. "No. I didn't know about your condition and when I found out I was reluctant to go, as I didn't think there was anything I could do help anyway."

"But yet you came."

"I guess that I was the only thing, between you and an extended stay in a mental hospital. I couldn't sit on the sidelines anymore. I guess that brings me to my question. I succeeded, you're no longer catatonic, but why did you ask me to come back today. Surely Cat or Beck would be preferable company to me."

"_Sinjin and Burf would be preferable company to you._"

Jade studied my expression of confusion and regret. "Let's just say I want you here for reasons that are too complex to explain easily.

I wasn't sure what to make of that. It was a vague bullshit answer, but I didn't push the issue.

"OK"

"How long can you stay in L.A.?"

"It's Wednesday, I have to be at work on Saturday afternoon." I said plainly.

"Where to you work?" Jade said looking slightly interested.

"Well I have done some Broadway stuff but nothing at the moment. I've also done a few commercials, been an extra in a couple of movies. A few bit parts. But I have 2 jobs at present. I work as a hostess for a restaurant in Times Square and part time, on weekends as tour guide at the American Museum of Natural history. I sometimes work in the gift shop too. I have a call back for a musical next week. It's a decent part."

"_translation = failed actress_"

Jade thought for a minute. "You used vacation time to come and help me?"

I did burn up the last of my vacation time at the restaurant but that really wasn't an issue. I didn't want to make a big deal of it.

"I did, yes"

"Thank you."

Jade was quiet again for several minutes, but the silence was a bit less awkward. Once again Jade broke the silence.

"I missed the funeral. I didn't even get to say goodbye or see where she's buried" Jade said as a single tear ran down her cheek.

"It's a very beautiful cemetery. She's buried near rather majestic looking maple tree." I couldn't help but remark.

For a brief instant Jade glared at me with a look of intense hatred, causing me to gasp.

"_Now you're going to get it Vega!"_

"I…I'm sorry. I just wanted to pay my respects. I visited the grave this morning. I left some flowers." I stammered nervously.

The look of hatred in Jade's eyes quickly vanished. "What kind of flowers?"

"Well…Roses seemed kind of romantic and somewhat inappropriate so I left a bouquet of daylilies, it was quite beautiful. I bought the nicest looking one."

A soft sigh escaped Jade's lips. "Krista would have liked that. Thank you. Sorry if I reacted badly. My emotions are extremely raw at the moment." Jade said as another tear ran down her face.

Jades eyes dropped at this point and once again her gaze turned away from me to the window, that pained expression once again forming on her face.

Once again Jade had become silent. She may not talk for another 5 minutes or an hour. But I would wait.

**The next chapter will continue the conversation between Jade and Tori. **


	4. Starts and stops, ups and downs

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 4 – Starts and stops, ups and downs.**

**Tori's POV**

She's been silent and motionless for almost 17 minutes now. She's not catatonic, as I see the pained expression on her face. She's there but just isn't responding. I'd give anything to know what's going on insider her head. We all know she was driving the car and was speeding in the rain, but I suspect we're missing something. She hadn't been drinking, so it wasn't that.

Perhaps it's selfish of me, but I took the time to just admire how beautiful she looks. Even in this condition, my heart skips a beat. I love her longer hair, down to the middle of her back. I want to touch it so badly.

"_I'm mourning the love of my life and all you want to do is cop a feel._ _ You have all the sensitivity of a dump truck, Vega_."

"I'm going home today." Jade finally said, shattering the silence.

"That's good." I said without thinking. As soon as I thought of how stupid that was to say, I cringed. She's going home to the apartment she shares with Krista. All of Krista's stuff is there, but no Krista.

Jade seemed to ignore my remark and just kept on speaking, still looking out the window. "But Krista won't. I miss her most at night when I wake. I woke up in the middle of the night and for a split second I thought if I reached over, she would be there next to me." Jade lowered her head and again a tear fell from her eye. "But she'll never be there again."

I took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "Some say it's good after an event like this to find a new place to live. One with not so many old ghosts wandering around. Find a new place and fill it with new memories."

"_You want me to forget Krista so you can make a pathetic attempt to try and win me back. Fuck you Tori_."

As Jade brought her head back up I could see, just from the look in her eyes that she was at least considering it.

"Your old house is for sale." I'm not sure why I mentioned that.

Jade raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "You drove by?"

I nodded. "I took a little tour of a few spots I hadn't been to in a while. That basement window lock is still broken. Don't get me wrong, the house is empty."

For a millisecond I could see a smirk on Jade's face before it vanished.

"You were in my old room!" Jade said with an expression that I couldn't quite decipher.

"_A criminal as well as a cheating, lying bitch_."

"It has green walls now. I'm sorry Jade. I was just remembering." Thinking I was veering into territory I shouldn't, I then said. "I had lunch at Nozu. It's exactly the same."

"I haven't been there in a while. Krista hated the food there. Did you go anywhere else?"

I nodded. "I drove by Hollywood arts and saw our old table."

"What does that make you think of?" Jade queried.

I hesitated for a moment before answering. "You and me holding hands under the table. Before anyone knew about us. It's silly but it was the greatest feeling in the world."

"_My greatest feeling was dumping your cheating ass_."

I felt strange talking about our past, when her present is lying dead in a grave. Jade was silent, but I could see a brief twinkle in her eye. But like the smirk from before, it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

Maybe it was the brief twinkle or smirk, but I got a bit overconfident or maybe I was just stupid. I then put my hand on her left hand in front of me. The right arm was in the cast. I did it primarily to comfort her but a tiny piece of me just wanted to touch her.

Instantly Jade pulled her hand back as she scowled at me. I should have remembered I lost the right to touch her a long time ago. In any case it was just not a good idea.

"I'm..I'm..sorry." I said quickly.

"_Don't you ever touch me again._" Imaginary Jade hissed in anger.

After a moment, Jade turned to the window away from me.

"Please leave." She said quietly

I'd stepped on a landmine and I should have known to be extra careful. As to not make things worse I quickly got up to leave.

"I'll be here to Saturday morning." I said with a heavy heart as I left.

I screwed up. Jade doesn't like to be touched under normal circumstances. I should have known better than to ever touch her, without getting some indication she wanted to be touched. God, am I stupid. I can't let my feelings cloud things. She needs a friend and someone to provide support, not a lovesick ex-girlfriend."

As I walked out of the hospital I could hear imaginary Jade's bitter voice. "_You should never have never come Vega. Everything you touch turns to shit._"

Making things worse, I saw Allison West come out of the elevator as I approached.

"Hello Tori." She said coldly.

"Hello Mrs. Vega. Are you taking Jade home?"

"Yes I am. The doctor says her broken arm is all that is wrong with her physically. She needs therapy but I think she'll be better off at home."

I felt the need to say it. "Someone should stay with her for a few days. I wouldn't leave her alone in that apartment."

Allison's patience seemed to snap. "I know what is best for my daughter! I don't need the likes of you to tell me." She said looking like she wanted to scream.

I huffed and took a step closer. "Even before Jade broke up with me, you didn't like me. I never did anything to you. Am I too low class for you or" I threw up my hands at this point, as I realized that arguing with Jade's mom was pointless. For whatever reason, she hated me and there wasn't squat I could do about it. The thing was, it really didn't matter.

"You know what? You're not worth the effort. I'm here for Jade and you don't like it, than fuck off."

I could have sworn, I heard imaginary Jade laughing hysterically at that very moment.

Allison gasped in horror at my outburst, but before she could react I jumped into an elevator that was closing.

**No One's POV**

Back in Jade's room, right after Tori left, Jade touched the part of her hand where Tori rested it.

"Even after all these years, her touch can give me butterflies" Jade said to herself. It was thrilling but at the same time very scary. That is why she so quickly dismissed Tori. It made her feel bad but she needed to be away from her for a bit.

A few moments later, Jade turned as he mom came into the room. Jade could tell that she didn't look happy.

"Do you know what that Tori said to me just now?" Allison said, as she pointed to the door.

Jade could only imagine what Tori said. Jade knew perfectly well that her mom hated Tori. Jade's best guess is that she wasn't high enough class for her, combined with the fact that she was Hispanic.

"What?"

"She said that she was there for you and if I didn't like it I could fuck off! I can't believe the nerve of that woman. She was never any good for you. I never liked her from the start, the best decision you ever made was to dump her."

Jade's face instantly turned red as her nostrils flared with anger. "Mom, leave Tori alone. She gave me more love and support in the first month we were dating than you showed me in my entire life up to that. Our recent past aside, she is helping me. So SHUT UP! "

**Tori's POV**

I was a bit upset by how things went down with Jade and even more upset about telling Jade's mom to fuck off. I'm not that type of person to say such things. But I've grinned and acted nice, in spite of her constant condescending attitude, all the years Jade and I were together. I wasn't sure if Jade would want me to come back at all.

So I went home and soaked in our pool for a while and then did some sunbathing. My dad was at work and my mom was out with friends so I had the place to myself. After getting bored with that I decided lay down for a bit.

The ringing of my phone woke me up about 7:00 in the evening.

"Hello" I mumbled into the phone.

"Hey Tori, it's Beck."

I hadn't spoken to Beck since I arrived, so hearing his voice was kind of a surprise. "Hey Beck what's up?"

"It's Jade."

I sighed. "Is she ok?'

"Well Cat and I are here with her at her apartment. She's barely said a word since she came home. Her mother took her home but left as soon as we arrived. Cat insisted on being with her the first night. But anyway, Jade's been shut up in her bedroom since she got home and won't come out. The only thing she's said to us is, Get Vega. Can you come over."

Once again for reasons I don't quite understand, Jade wants me. "Text me the address and I'll be there in a jiffy."

Trying not to give the situation much thought I quickly drove to Jade's and Krista's apartment. It was a rather nice building in a decent section of town. I knew Jade had done some acting and made several TV appearances so she had some decent money. I could feel myself getting a bit nervous as I knocked on the door.

Cat opened the door and quickly ushered me inside, where I saw Beck standing a few feet inside.

"Sorry to run right away but I need to pick up my girlfriend from work. I'll stop by tomorrow and check up on Jade." He said to Cat.

"You have to leave?" I said.

Beck ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, My girlfriends car is in the shop so I have to pick her up. I'm sorry we haven't had much chance to talk. At least I could do is thank you for at least getting Jade out of her catatonia."

"She's hurting badly. There is only so much I can do. I feel so sorry for her."

Beck nodded. "Yeah, Jade really loved her. You figure with all those safety features of the new cars, this wouldn't have happened."

"New?"

Cat chimed in. "Jade just bought that car with the money she got for a decent sized movie part. It was one of those nice SUV's. Black of course."

"I don't think she even had it more than two weeks." Beck said, as he moved to the door.

"I guess it hit the tree in just the right spot. "

Cat gave Beck a quick hug. "Thanks Beck for hanging with me and watching over Jade."

"Just let me know what happens, OK?" Beck said as she walked out and closed the door.

I then turned to Cat. "How is she?"

"Her mom called and said she was bringing her home so I volunteered to watch over her tonight. She seemed more than Ok with it. In fact she left as soon as I arrived. She couldn't get out of her fast enough. I think they might have been fighting. She's been in the bedroom since she got home, save for a trip to the bathroom. The only thing she's said was "I'm fine, leave me alone and Get Vega."

I nodded. "I'll go talk with her. But I need you stay with her, no matter what happens. Even if things go sour between her and I you need to stay. Even if she asks you to leave."

Cat looked confused. "You think things may go sour?"

I shrugged. "It's possible. I'm just thinking worst case scenario."

Cat smiled. "Think positive. Her bedroom is the 2nd door on the left down the hallway. I'll be in the living room watching television if you need anything."

I walked through the living room, which was neatly kept and nicely decorated. I could of course see a number of Jade's touches. A scissoring poster being one of them. Other objects I figured were Krista's. Before I left I paused by a picture on the wall.

It was Krista in a beautiful blue dress. She was a rather pretty girl. She had a rather athletic build with short curly brown hair and wore wire rimmed glasses. Her eyes were a hazel color. I can see why Jade fell for her.

Of course there were other pictures, several of them together. I avoided looking at those. Again that feeling of being an intruder started to creep back into my gut.

As I walked down the hallway, I passed the first door which appeared a bedroom converted into a music practice room. Snapping on the light, I could see posters of Beethoven and Brahms. There was a rack with lots of classical music CD's. Next to that was a stereo system with a recorder. But the one thing that really caught my attention was a chair and empty music stand sitting in the middle of the room. Beyond it, in the corner was a cello case. Being a musician myself, the scene gave me a very empty, sad feeling.

In my mind, I could see Krista practicing here for hours on end. Perhaps Jade would pop her head in the doorway from time to time, to admire her girlfriends playing and be rewarded with a gracious smile. But no more. I turned off the light and shut the door.

Coming to Jade's door I knocked. I was even more nervous now, my heart threatening to pound its way out of my chest.

"Jade, It's Tori." I called out.

"Come in." I heard Jade call out weakly.

As I opened the door I could see a darkened bedroom, lit only by the faint orange glow of a street lamp outside. "Leave the light off. There's a chair just inside the doorway to your left. Shut the door and sit down."

I quickly complied and let my eyes adjust to the light. I was facing the side of a double bed. Jade was lying on her side facing me, but she was clutching a pillow tightly to her chest. I assumed it was Krista's.

"I can still smell her Tori." I heard Jade say with a sniffle.

Imaginary Jade had been quiet for a while but suddenly screeched. "Get the fuck out Vega "

There was nothing I could think of to say in response to that. So instead I said. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"You told my mother to fuck off." Jade said in a curious voice.

Suddenly my stomach felt like it was filled with rocks. "Look, I'm sorry, I just lost my temper. I can apologize if you want."

"Don't feel bad and don't apologize to that bitch, she had it coming. Good Job." I could almost detect a note of pride in her voice.

I suddenly felt terribly relived. I was sure Jade was going to be pissed at me for telling her mother to fuck off. I know Jade hates her mother but still.

"Yesterday when you were talking to me, I think you said something about Imaginary Jade. What's that?"

"_The one and only, making Tori's live a living hell for being the cheating worthless whore she is_."

The rocks suddenly reappeared in my stomach. "It's nothing really." I said quickly.

"You're lying." Jade snapped quickly. "I can tell by the squeak you make in your voice. Tell me." Jade said with a bit more force.

"_Vega, you love to lie don't you?"_

"It's hard to explain. But I imagine in certain situations what you would say. But essentially it's a manifestation of my guilt. Don't get me wrong, I don't do it all the time, or even most of the time. Just sometimes when I'm really stressed or feeling guilty. It's a bad habit I've picked up." I felt horribly embarrassed just by saying it. I had no idea how Jade would react.

Jade remined quiet for several minutes before replying. "What does she or I say?"

"She's fond of calling me a cheating bitch. Worthless whore is her 2nd favorite. But she insults me and reminds me how I broke your heart. She's cold, angry and vindictive. "

Jade spoke again, though I couldn't quite see the expression on her face, her voice sounded a bit hurt. "Why do you do this Tori? Torture yourself like that. Is that how you see me?"

"_Because you fucking deserve it_."

A quick sharp pain shot through my heart. "Because I cheated on you. I broke your heart. I ruined our relationship. The part of me that can't forgive myself has become Imaginary Jade. It's a self-punishment I pull out from time to time.

Jade sighed but said nothing.

Wanting to change the subject, I asked. "Where did you meet Krista?"

Jade was silent for a moment. "I was supposed to go to the Rocky Horror picture show with Cat but she bailed on me. So I went alone. Krista had been practicing all day and wanted to blow off some steam so she went out. She's a bigger Rocky Horror fan than I am. I got there early to get a good seat up front. I didn't mind waiting in line. Krista was in front of me. She complimented me on my scissoring t shirt I was wearing. She said she loved the movie. We started to talk, found out we were both solo and she asked me to sit with her. We had a great time at Rocky Horror. I thought she was very pretty and seemed fun and nice. I hadn't dated anyone since we broke up. I asked her to coffee afterwards and we sat there talking until they kicked us out. We talked about life, our relationships, our dreams. She didn't even mind my less than chipper demeanor. We just seemed to click. I asked her out for a date that night, she said yes right away. "I could hear the sadness in Jade's voice when she said it.

I'll admit it was a bit hard to hear how Jade met someone else, but somehow I think this would be good for her. "It's a nice story."

"Thank you." She said sadly.

The car thing bugged me and kept bugging me. Maybe the fact that the car was new came into it somehow. Jade is obviously terribly guilt ridden but is suspect she isn't telling me something. I should have kept talking to Jade about Krista instead I changed the subject once again. This was just bugging me too much and I couldn't

"Tell me Jade. Why did you take the long route home from the restaurant the night of the accident?"

Jade instantly sprung off the bed as it was on fire. Even in the dark I could see her face distort in anger.

"GET THE FUCK OUT. GET OUT OF MY ROOM, GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT. GET OUT OF MY FUCKNG LIFE" She instantly roared.

Instantly I flashbacked to the morning we broke up. I told her I had cheated, with the intention of explaining myself and apologizing. Instead she threw a frying pan full of hash browns at me and told me to get the fuck out. I tried to speak but she simply dumped me and kicked me out of the apartment. In a text later I was told to remove all my possessions from the apartment that afternoon while she would be out. Jade further said that anything left behind, would be destroyed. I moved out that afternoon a totally broken woman.

I instantly burst into tears and fled the room. Behind me I could hear the bedroom door slam. I had completely ruined all our progress.

"_I knew it. You fucked up. You can't help me. You can only hurt me_."

"What's wrong?" Cat said as I made it to the living room.

"Take care of Jade for me." I said with a painful sob as I ran out of the apartment. I was beside myself with grief. Still sobbing I drove back to my parents' home. All my instincts told me to just pack up and go home.

"_Run home little Vega, like the worthless cheating failure you are_."

"What's wrong Tori?" My mom said as I came into the house.

"I was talking to Jade. I mentioned the strange route she took home and she got mad and kicked me out. I thought we were making progress. I ruined everything."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

I let out a painful sob. I felt so horribly broken and torn up. "No mom, she hates me. Just as much as before. I'm going to leave tomorrow. I can't stay here anymore."

Before she could say anything else, I ran up to my room. There I turned off my phone, packed my clothes and cried for the rest of the evening. All the while listening to Imaginary Jade's cruel taunts. Perhaps I was overreacting but I had a total flashback to that horrible day, where we broke up.

I had ruined everything. That's what I kept saying to myself as I cried myself to sleep.

I woke sometime the next morning after a night of a nightmare filled, restless sleep. My first thought was to go to the airport and change my ticket from Saturday to today. But I quickly noticed something was off.

Opening my eyes I quickly realized what it was.

Jade was sitting at the foot of my bed looking even sadder than before. Her eyes were puffy and she looked like he had barely gotten any sleep.

She began to speak, her voice hoarse as if she had be sobbing for hours. "Tori, I never gave you the chance to explain yourself the day we broke up. Why did you cheat on me?"

**Ups and downs with the rather unpredictable Jade. More answers in the next chapter.**


	5. Road to Ruin

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last resort**

**Chapter 5 – Road to ruin.**

**Tori's POV**

I quickly sat up in bed, while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Then I blinked a few times to see if Jade was a figment of my imagination, But Jade remained sitting on the foot of my bed, staring straight ahead.

"_You're not crazy tori, you're just a cheating whore_."

"urg…" I said while running my hand through my hair.

"Ah…I wasn't…" I began to say before Jade finished my sentence.

"Expecting me. "

I sat up a little further in bed as I finally began to fully wake up. "No."

Jade then glanced over at my neatly packed suitcase that was sitting on my old desk. "You were going to leave, weren't you."

I put my head down. "Yeah…After last night I pretty much guessed that I wore out my welcome, besides failing miserably."

Jade sighed. "You didn't on either account. I was out of line. After Cat yelled at me, I tried to call you. But your phone was turned off. So I decided to try and sleep, with the intention of coming here this morning. But instead of sleeping I simply cried most of the night."

I quickly grunted in annoyance as I got out from under the covers and sat on the bed. "I'm sorry she shouldn't have yelled at you. I just told her to watch over you. "

"_Whoops, failed again Vega_."

"No." Jade replied quickly. "Cat just said I was trying to help and I shouldn't have blown up at her. I deserved it."

I was still trying to figure out why Jade wanted to know about my cheating, now at all times. It seemed very strange. "I'll explain, but I'm not sure if this is the right time, after all with Krista…"

Jade quickly reached over and grabbed my wrist. "When I was Catatonic I could hear bits of what you said to me you described it as impulsive. It's important. I need you to explain yourself." Her voice, though still hoarse was almost pleading.

I was a bit confused, but I took a deep breath and started. "We had been fighting a lot. As I recall it was a couple of things. The thing with the money, you were saying I was spending too much. I felt neglected by you. You were jealous of Mark who was playing my husband. We just weren't talking, I should had tried harder to communicate. Instead I just got angry. That morning we had fought over the fact that you were jealous of Mark. I left angry and went to rehearsals with Mark."

I paused and took another deep breath. My heart was beginning to beat faster. I was worried how she would react. "I liked Mark, he seemed nice and we had really good chemistry on stage. We seemed to click. But I was still your girlfriend. Up to that night I never even considered cheating on you. We didn't finish until well after 9 o'clock in the evening. As I was leaving Mark asked me if I wanted to join him for a drink or two. We talked for I don't know how long. I spoke of how we hit a bad spot and he just played the understanding good friend. I just felt so good to talk to someone about it all. But at one point he stopped and said how you were taking me for granted and he told me he had fallen for me. I was very flattered and told him so."

At this point during a slight pause Jade looked over at the open window. I could see a look of surprise on her face as she noticed it. "You left the window open….for me?"

"_A pathetic attempt at wishful thinking. But then again everything you do is pathetic Vega_!"

I couldn't help but blush slightly. "I wasn't expecting anything. I just kind of did it for old times sake. Besides, with your arm I don't think you'll be climbing any tree's anyway."

Jade looked down at her arm. "I guess you're right."

Before I resumed my story, I could have sworn I saw just the hint of a smile. But as always, it vanished in an instant.

"He said, Tori I'd very much like to kiss you. Not a stage kiss but a real one. When I kiss you on stage, I always want more. At that very second, on a horribly stupid impulse, I said go ahead. I was mad at you. I loved the attention, I…never should have done it. The kiss was full of feeling and once I crossed that line. It was all too easy to let him kiss me again, put his hand on my leg. I just let myself get caught up in the heat of the moment. Next thing, I know I'm in his apartment. He said all the things guys say; that i'm beautiful, special how he'd treat me better. Looking back, I think he knew i was vulnerable. I think he really liked me but he saw a weak link my armor and exploited it for his own gain."

Jade just kept listening quietly, looking sad as ever. Her eyes avoided mine as I told the story.

"Almost as soon as we finished, I snapped out of it. I realized I had cheated on you, the woman I loved more than life itself. This was going to devastate you and I knew it. I had done something so horrible that I could barely think. I told him this was a mistake, threw on my clothes and left. I cried all the way home and when I got there you were already asleep. I knew I could have kept it to myself and pretended it never happened. But as I sat there in the bedroom watching you sleep, I knew I couldn't do it. You looked so peaceful, so beautiful so perfect lying there. I knew if I didn't tell you, the guilt would eat me alive. So I stripped down and crawled in bed with you. I remember pressing my body against yours and crying. I knew somehow that this could be the last night I ever spent with you. I woke up the next morning and could smell you making breakfast for me. You know the rest."

"_The best day of my life, when I got rid of your skanky ass_."

Jade nodded. "You told me you slept with Mark, I blew up, threw a frying pan at you and told you to get the fuck out. When you tried to speak I told you we were finished, I never wanted to see you again and told you to get the fuck out of my apartment." Jade said it with a far away, but sad look in her eyes.

I had begun to cry at this point. "Jade, not a day has gone by where I haven't wished I could take that back. I am so sorry I hurt you. It was a stupid impulsive decision made out of anger and it totally ruined my life. I could blame, Mark or the drinks or the anger but ultimately it was me and only me. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done and my life will never be the same."

Jade put her hand over her eyes as tears began run down her cheeks. "I did the same thing, except I killed Krista."

I remembered her saying that after she woke from her catatonia. But I didn't know what it meant. I guessed it had something to do with the route it took but wasn't sure.

I had no idea how she would react but I had to ask. "Jade what did you do?"

Jade looked at me, I could see all the pain and guilt in her eyes as the tears streamed from them.

With a voice that sounded utterly heartbroken Jade began her tale. "We had just picked out our wedding rings the day before and we decided to go out to dinner to celebrate how everything was going so smoothly. As we drove our new car there, it had begun to rain. But we made it to the restaurant just fine. We had a wonderful time, Krista was so happy. She looked so beautiful Tori. As we begun to drive back, I remembered how the salesperson said the car would handle extremely well, especially in the rain. It handled like a dream so far. So in a stupid impulse I decided to take the long route through that neighborhood. It had lots of twist and turns. I wanted to see how it would handle on twisting type roads in the rain."

With a creeping sense of horror I begun to realize what happened.

"The car handled well and I was getting a kick out of it. I wasn't going super fast, but fast enough. I got cocky and kept doing it. But Krista began to get scared. Jade please stop, you've proven your point, she told me. Just a few more I said, don't worry. Then we hit that s curve. When we hit the first one she got really scared. She pleaded for me to stop."

Jade let out what could only be a mix of a painful cry and a deep sob. "SHE WAS SO SCARED AND I JUST MADE FUN OF HER. She pleaded for me to slow down. I just said don't be such a chicken. Then we hit that final curve and…and…"

I moved next to Jade, who was becoming more distraught by the moment.

"We began to slide and she screamed. It happened in an instant she screamed out my name in terror and then we hit the tree. I KILLED HER. I KILLED HER. I came to, my arm hurt but then I looked over at her. She was covered in blood, I remembered saying. Please wake up baby, please wake up, but she was dead."

Jade couldn't continue the story and simply fell into my arms, crying hysterically. As I put my arms around her, my mind tried to grasp the amount of guilt Jade had to be feeling. A second later I remembered.

We had been together for 2 years and had gone on vacation in the mountains to ski. On our way up we were taking this somewhat winding mountain road. There were a few parts where the was a drop off to one side. I suddenly flashbacked to that day.

**No one's POV – Tori's flashback.**

Tori quickly grabbed the dash nervously, as Jade sped up. "Come on Jade. This isn't funny." Tori said.

Jade smirked. "What's wrong with you Vega? Aren't you up for a little adventure? Life on the edge."

"Not literally."

A second later the tires squealed a bit as they hit a corner too fast, but otherwise the car stayed on the road.

Suddenly Tori barked out in anger. "Enough Jade. Stop this right now! You're scaring me. SLOW THE CAR DOWN!"

Jade huffed in annoyance, as she slowed the car down. "Spoil sport."

**Tori's POV**

I was so mad at her, as much as i loved her she could be such a gank at times. I didn't say another word to her the rest of the drive to the resort. As soon as we got there, instead of taking the suitcases into the hotel, I walked off and found a bar. It took an hour for jade to find me. I had calmed down by then. When Jade found me, she apologized profusely and we had some pretty great make up sex.

That was what was supposed to happen two weeks ago. Had the storm drain not been clogged the street would have not been flooded. Krista would be scared and angry at jade, as I was. When they got home I imagine her stomping off to her music practice room to blow off some steam by playing furiously for an hour or so. Eventually Jade would apologize and say how much a gank had been. Krista would accept the apology and lead Jade into the bedroom.

But that didn't' happen.

Jade continued to sob in my arms. I think the part that really eats her is that she made fun of Krista's fear right before she died. That was typical Jade, however. She'd made fun of me a number of times. But she always made up for it. She loved me and she loved Krista, but Jade was Jade sometimes. Krista and I loved her none the less.

Jade looked up at me with her tear filled blood shot eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt her, Tori. I loved her. I wanted to marry her and she's dead because of me."

I elected not to remind her of the past incident, it wouldn't help anything. But she must have recognized the look in my eyes that I was remembering something. Suddenly her eyes opened wide.

"Oh my god, I did the same to you!" She wailed in near agony.

I wasn't mad at her; I can imagine some people would be however. I also believed her that she never meant to harm Krista. Just like she never meant to harm me that day. It was just an accident, just a horrible accident. Like in my case, a simple impulsive and stupid move resulted in disaster. I could feel my own heart breaking, seeing how much pain she was in. I still loved Jade and seeing her like this was tearing me apart. I wanted to make the pain go away so much. I needed to help her, she'd already been punished with the knowledge that her reckless driving had killed her fiancé. Already one person was dead. If Jade didn't get some help, I could imagine their eventually being two.

"I'm a monster, I killed my Krista." Jade said, between mournful sobs.

"You didn't mean this Jade. You had no idea that drain was clogged and the street partially flooded. You didn't know. You're not a monster. My dad once arrested a man who beat his 6 year old step son to death for getting into his tools. When my dad put the cuff's on him, he could see the guy didn't care even remotely that he savagely beat a child to death. He just said, I hated the little fucker, good riddance. That's a monster Jade, you're not."

I had no idea if that was the proper thing to say at this point, but I knew one thing for sure. I had my work cut out for me.

**A sad and painful story. Sadly, people do stupid things all the time that result in deaths. Some are able to put it behind them and come to terms with the mistakes they've made. Some are not. **


	6. Putting her back together

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort **

**Chapter 6 – Putting her back together.**

**Tori's POV**

"Jade, you are not a monster." I repeated in a calm soothing voice.

She needed professional help, and bad. But until I could get her there, I needed to be her strength. A burden which I would glady bear.

As I suspected, imaginary Jade remained silent as the real one continued uncontrollably cry in my arms. I would gently rock her while slowly rubbing her back. I just let her cry it out, barely noticing the tears coming from my own eyes.

I had never seen Jade so completely broken and lost. My mom must have heard the sobbing and poked her head in the door with a worried look in her eyes.

"Is she OK?" She mouthed to me.

The simple answer would be, no she's not ok. Not even remotely ok. But I just covertly waived her off and she quietly closed the door. With ever sob, with every painful moan, with every utterance of "I killed her" my heart broke even further. Once upon a time, I deeply resented Krista for taking my place. But seeing the woman I love so distraught at Krista's loss, erased every bit of that resentment. In fact it made me feel bad, for feeling that way at all. I was the one the screwed up, I had no right to be resentful of the person who took my place.

Jade continued to cry, sob and wail for I don't know how long. But eventually her moans and sobbing grew quieter as she fell into an exhausted sleep in my arms. I had guessed she was up most of the night crying and was completely exhausted.

At this point I gently pulled back the covers on my bed and placed her in it. I wanted to slip myself in bed with her, to comfort her and feel her close to me again. But I would just be wrong, not to mention disrespectful to Krista. I wanted Jade, but not like this. So I pulled off her boots, pulled the covers over her sleeping form and let her sleep. I placed I kiss on her forehead and quietly left the room.

Outside the room I leaned up against the wall and tried to think. Try and fathom the horror and tragedy of the whole situation.

"Is Jade Ok?" My mom said softly as she came from downstairs. "She must have been crying for an hour."

I rubbed my face with my hands. "My god. She is so broken, so guilt ridden."

"She came here and said she needed to speak with you. Normally I would tell her no as you were asleep, but this was different. She looked like she barely slept a wink."

"I'll bet she didn't she cried herself to sleep in my arms. She's sleeping in my bed right now."

"Did something happen in there?" My mom asked.

"Long story short, she picked the route home that she took in an impulse to see how their new car would handle on twisty turn type roads. She also wanted to see how it handled in the rain. She feels totally responsible for Krista's death. It was still an accident though." I didn't mention the fact that Jade had been teasing Krista only moments before her death, no one needed to know that.

My mom gasped but before she could say anything. "Could you do me a favor. I need to take quick shower, could you watch over her for me. I don't want her to be alone."

My mom nodded and I headed into the shower, being as quick about it as possible. Heading back into my room I found my mom sitting next to my bed.

"She's still asleep." My mom whispered. "Is there anything you need?"

I thought for a moment. "Yes, big favor please. Go to Jetbrew, get me a large coffee; Columbian dark with 1 cream and 2 sugars. If they have any raspberry Danish left than get one of those."

My mom gave me a puzzled look.

"Mom, that's her favorite coffee and what she loves to eat in the morning. I think it will make her feel a bit better. You don't need to rush."

My mom quickly nodded and left the room. Alone, I threw on some clothes and parked myself in the chair next to the bed. Like that one night so long ago, she looked so peaceful and quiet. Off all the things I wanted to do or say at that moment, I simply held her hand. It's not what I need or what we need, it's what she needs.

I sat there watching over her for almost an hour when my mom showed up with the coffee and Danish. She put them on the nightstand and left. Soon the room was filled with the crisp smell of coffee. Soon Jade quickly started to stir and within minutes her eyes quickly flitted open.

I let go of her hand and gave her a pleasant smile. "You can keep sleeping if you want, but I got you some coffee and a Danish. I'm guessing you haven't eaten or drank anything this morning."

Still looking a bit drained and very heartbroken, she slowly reached over for the cup and pulled it to her lips. After a second to smell it she wordlessly took a large drink. She put down the cup and took a large bite from the Danish.

"You remembered what I like." Jade said with a weak smile, which quickly faded.

"Just eat and drink, Jade. It will help you."

Jade took another drink and sighed. Before she could speak I asked. "Tell me about Krista. I only met her that one time and I can't say I know really anything about her. Usually when Cat or Andre would bring her up, I'd quickly change the subject."

Jade remained quiet for a moment than began to speak. "She loved Music, she was a lot like you in that respect. But she was more of a classical music lover. She would practice for hours. I'd be at the computer in the living room and listen to the music drift through the wall. Sometimes she would record her practice sessions and listen to them. So she could pick out the parts that she was making mistakes on. I loved listening to her play. I never thought I'd like classical music but she just pulled me in."

"That's nice. Perhaps I could listen to one of those practice recordings. I'd very much like to hear her play." I heard she was very talented. Though she's gone, I could least get to know her music.

"Just as long as you return them. I loved her smile, it always made me feel good. The fact that I was constantly crabby and bitchy never phased her, not once. She just ignored my bad moods and acted as if everything was alright. Don't get me wrong, she could get mad. Like when I would interrupt her practicing. She hated that."

For an instant Jade smiled again. "She loved Christmas. But she wouldn't open any presents until Christmas morning. Our family would always open them Christmas eve. We had a huge fight our first Christmas together over when we would open presents."

"I'm sorry."

Jade let out a small laugh. "Don't be, we had some fantastic Christmas make up sex afterward."

I think Jade could see the look of slight discomfort in my eyes as she said it as she immediately apologized. "I'm sorry."

I waved my hand in front of me. "No, don't be. Please continue. But I'll bet she won the fight, didn't she?"

Jade nodded. "Yes she did. She could be feisty. As I said she would ignore my bad moods and be cheerful, but if I backed her into a corner she wouldn't back down. Her family had money and she was used to dealing with upper class people. Her manners were impeccable, when the situation called for it. My mother loved her, but Krista knew my mother was a phony the second she laid eyes on her. She would laugh at my mom's pathetic attempts to impress her parents and their rich friends. My mom kept trying to worm her way into their social circle."

Even thought it was painful for me to hear about Jade's life with Krista, I kept listening. It seemed to help Jade a bit, especially when she talked of happy times. But I kept listening for what seemed like hours. Any pain or discomfort I felt, I took as penance for my own sin. Eventually I grew to know Krista very well; a kind talented girl who loved Italian food, watching the morning sunrise, playing music and of course was madly in love with Jade. I don't doubt, had she lived, they would have lived happily ever after.

After telling me a funny story about how Krista had a horrible habit of hogging all the blankets, Jade looked at me with a tear running down her face. "How do I live without her, How do I live with this guilt?

Hearing that causes me to pause for a moment, as I once asked myself those very same questions after my breakup with Jade. Eventually, I said. "It's a cliché but you take it one day at a time. If that's too hard, than one hour, one minute or one second at a time. What ever you can handle."

Jade must have recognized the sad far off tone of my voice as she quickly remarked.

"Oh….You…had."

"Nevermind me. Just take it as much as you can handle. One thing that may help is to do things to atone for you sin. For example, did Krista have a favorite charity?"

Jade appeared to think for a moment. "Yes, there was this one she supported. They raised money to buy musical instruments needed in high schools. Lots of budgets are being cut and the music program is normally one of the first to go."

I pointed at her. "There you go. It sounds like you acting career was beginning to take off. You've had several movie and TV roles already Cat tells me. You can be in a position to raise lots of money and awareness for this charity. If this was Krista's cause, then you should champion it. Where ever she is, she will see you are trying to make up for what you did."

Jade nodded. "That's a good idea, Vega."

I paused again and collected my thoughts. I had no idea how she would react but I needed to say it.

"Jade, I'm more than willing to help you and can stay if you like. But I do think you need serious professional help. You're extremely depressed, severely guilt ridden and emotionally distraught. I think you really should check yourself into…" I began to say before Jade finished my sentence.

"A psych ward?"

I leaned forward and looked Jade straight in the eyes. "You need to get a handle on this Jade. I've heard that Mercy Hospital has a nice facility. Please. Look, you know her. What would Krista want?"

"_Now you're trying to stick me in the loony bin._" Imaginary Jade said, breaking her silence.

Jade sat there quietly thinking for several minutes. I half expected her to blow up and storm out. Instead she just sighed. "She wouldn't want me like this. You're right." She said with a note of resignation.

"You've made the right decision Jade. I'm proud of you."

"I killed my girlfriend, no one should be proud of me." Jade said bitterly.

"Stop that!" I said quickly in response.

Jade remained quiet for at least 10 more minutes. Finally she got off the bed and looked at me. "Could you take me to Krista now. I need to see her."

I knew she would want to see the grave eventually, but I was worried if she's ready for this. "Are you sure you can handle it."

"I need to see her. But just stay nearby, OK." Jade said with a shaky voice.

"Ok then, Let's go."

**Well Jade is on the road to healing with Tori's help. But facing Krista's grave will be a true test for Jade.**


	7. Conversations with the dead

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort **

**Chapter 7 – Conversations with the dead**

**Tori's POV**

As Jade and I came down the stairs my mom, who was in the kitchen, looked up.

"Are you going out?"

I nodded. "I'm taking Jade to see were Krista's buried."

Just saying that caused Jade to cringe slightly, which made me feel lousy. At this point my mom walked over, put her hand on Jade's arm and gave her a very sympathetic look.

"I didn't get to say it earlier but I am so sorry for your loss. If you ever need anything, day or night, please don't hesitate to call David or I. We both care very much for you."

Jade smiled briefly and nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

Jade said nothing else as I led her to the car and begun to drive. Instead she just looked out the window with a sullen look on her face.

"Would you like me to stop at a florist so you can pick up some flowers for the grave; there is one on the way?" I asked.

Jade wordlessly nodded then went back to looking out the window. As I pulled up in front of the florist I couldn't help but notice how overcast and gloomy it was. On top of that a unusually cold November wind made its appearance. Jade got out of the car and returned a few minutes later with a dozen roses.

As before, Jade remained silent and morose the rest of the ride. As the cemetery came into view I could see a single tear run down her cheek.

I pointed to a small rise in the cemetery as we drove through the gate. "There." Still Jade said nothing.

We pulled up to the curb about 50 yards from the grave and got out of the car. The sky was still very overcast and it looked like it was going to rain but so far it hadn't. Jade just started to walk on ahead of me as she had gotten out of the car at first. She seemed to be walking like she was in a trance. I stayed closed behind her but left her be. It was a heartbreaking scene, with my heart tearing a bit more with every step Jade took to her lover's grave.

I stopped about 10 yards from the grave but continued to watch Jade as she approached it.

The tombstone itself was a slab of Pink granite, with a slightly raised center. On it one could see the words's Krista Marlene Tyler, Beloved daughter and the year of her birth and her death.

I watched with apprehension as Jade mechanically walked up to the grave. She began to shake as closed the final few feet and sank to her knees at the grave.

With a trembling hand she placed the bouquet of roses in front of the tombstone. Looking upon her face I could the last of her emotional defenses crumble.

Her lower lip quivered slightly and her lips parted as the first of her tears fell across her cheeks onto the grave.

"I…I….I…I'm so sorry baby. I n..never meant to hurt you. Please believe me Krista. I loved you." She said through the tears.

A moment later a tremendous wail, which shattered my own heart, emanated from her lips. It was a wordless cry which was so filled with aguish and pain, I tortured my soul, just hearing it. Jade simply fell forward onto the grave sobbing uncontrollably. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" she cried out.

I couldn't stand to by a bystander anymore; my heart would no longer allow it. I had to comfort the woman I love. My own tears flowing, I rushed over, knelt down and put my arms around Jade and pulled her up into a tight hug. She just kept crying into my shoulder, whimpering the words "I'm sorry Krista" over and over.

I held onto her for several minutes until she composed herself a bit. Then I let her go.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly.

She didn't answer instead she just got off the ground, moving to a sitting position next to the tombstone. Though she was no longer distraught, she was still crying.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?" I asked cautiously.

"I'd appreciate that, thank you. Just don't go very far please." Jade said weakly.

I patted her on the shoulder. "Ok, just give me a shout if you need something. I'll be by that bench over there." I said as I pointed to a bench sitting next to a rather large Mausoleum a little ways away.

As I walked off I could hear Jade begin to tearfully talk to Krista. I hurried off so I wouldn't hear any of it. It wasn't meant for my ears.

I watched as Jade cried and talked with Krista. Occasionally she would run her hand across the tombstone or lean up against it. I had no idea what Jade was saying. But I could see the grief filled expression on her face as she spoke.

After about a half an hour Jade motioned for me to come over. As I approached I could see not only did she still looked distraught and heartbroken, she looked completely drained.

"Help me up please" She said weakly through her tears, as she put up her hand for me. I took her hand and mine and helped her up off the grave as I felt a rain drop hit my face.

As she stood up, leaned over and kissed the gravestone. I don't think I've ever seen Jade more completely broken in my entire life. It was written all over her tearstained face and bloodshot eyes. It was purely heartbreaking.

She then looked at me and whimpered. "Take me home please"

I put my arm around her and walked her to the car. All the while we walked, she just blankly stared straight ahead. Jade barely seemed to notice the rain as it began to fall, but we made it to the car without getting too wet.

As I got in she looked at me and in a weary voice. "It's raining, please drive slow."

I nodded and began to drive the car back to Jade's house. Jade just slumped in her seat and leaned her head against the window. I made it a point to drive slow and very carefully all the way back to Jade's apartment.

"I was a gank to her sometimes, not just that last day." Jade said as we turned onto her street. That didn't surprise me at all.

"I'm sure she knew you loved her." I said reassuringly.

Jade just closed her eyes

A minute later we pulled up in front of her apartment building. Jade opened her eyes and slowly got out of the car. Then I walked her to the door.

"I know Cat said she'd stay with me tonight, but would you do it please." Jade said softly.

I was a bit a taken back by her request. I wanted to stay and comfort Jade but in some ways it felt very wrong. Like I was disrespecting the dead or taking advantage of the situation. Jade must have seen the turmoil in my face.

"Our couch, folds out into a bed." She said quickly, to assuage my misgivings.

"Ok then. I'll have my mom drop my stuff. Let's get inside you're cast it getting wet." I said as I urged her on.

I took her up to the apartment and inside she went directly to her room. Looking at the clock it was just past 5:30 in the afternoon. The rain which was only falling lightly began to pour outside.

"I'm going to bed. Could you help me undress? My arm cast makes it a bit hard. " She requested.

Quickly pushing aside all the thoughts that invaded my mind, I helped her change into her normal sleeping clothes, which consisted of panties and t shirt. I'll admit that my heart began to beat faster seeing her pulled pants off, but the guilt I quickly felt dampened any thoughts of old times together.

I helped her into bed and covered her up.

"Tori" She sounding even more weary. "I'm going to check into the psych ward tomorrow as an inpatient. Would you take me please?"

"Of course"

"I know you said you would stay, but I don't want you to lose your job because of me. You go back as you planned. I'll be in safe hands by then."

I still felt bad about leaving her. "Are you sure?"

Jade nodded. She looked as if she was going to say more, but sleep quickly claimed her. Her eyes just seemed to close and she fell instantly asleep. I felt so bad for her, I could barely stand it. I loved her so much and to see her in so much pain was killing me.

I kissed her on the forehead and left the room.

Being left alone in Jade and Krista's apartment, I called my mom and had her bring some of my things. I also called Cat and told her I was watching over Jade that night.

"I can think of one else better qualified to do so. Thanks Tori." Cat said before hanging up.

I thought of watching the TV while I waited for the Pizza to arrive, but then I remembered the Cd's of Krista's practicing Jade had mentioned. Walking into the music room, I looked to the bookcase which had a good number of CD's on it.

I pulled one out that looked like a homemade one. On the CD case, was written in neat script.

In my head I could hear Imaginary Jade growl. She had been mostly silent today, but I knew that wouldn't last long. I was feeling guilty about going through Krista's stuff._ "That's right, just go through my dead girlfriends stuff. You going to sniff her panties too?"_

Bach – Cello Suite No.1 in G Major. Movements 1 – 3

Below that was a date of about 4 months ago. I assume it was the day she recorded it. I put the Cd in the stereo and hit play.

Suddenly I heard what I recognized as Krista's voice. I'll admit it was a bit startling to here it. Once again that feeling of being an intruder came back but I kept listening.

"This is Krista Tyler and this is Bach's Cello suite No. 1 in G Major. First 3 movements. That's assuming Jade doesn't interrupt me again. I've learned that practicing when your girlfriend is nibbling on your neck is quite hard. I do lover her, but I need to get this down."

I paused, it as I couldn't help but laugh. "You too huh. Try playing the piano when you're girlfriend's hand is up back of your shirt." Sometimes Jade would try and get me all hot and bothered when I was trying to practice. She said it put an edge on my playing and or singing. That was bullshit, she just liked to fuck with me and if she succeeded in getting me all worked up, she'd get fucked silly. I'd get my revenge by parading around in my sexiest Victoria Secret ware when she was trying to write. Once when she wouldn't budge from her computer I just sat down on the couch and began to masturbate right in front of her. Her attempts to ignore me, didn't last very long and I was quickly dragged into the bedroom.

I hit play again and Krista's voice returned. "Note to self. Watch the intro of the 3rd movement. I think I've got it down, Hopefully I'll get it right this time."

With that, I heard the sound of a solo cello play a soft melody. I've never heard the song before but it was quite beautiful. Krista's playing was flawless; if there were any mistakes I didn't hear any. I was entranced by her playing, so entranced I almost missed the buzzer when the pizza arrived. I put my pizza and soda down on the table in the music room and continued to listen to Krista's wonderful playing.

I spent more than an hour and half listening to the various practice CD's Krista made. She would make funny comments in the beginning of some of them. Most of them related to Jade in one form or another.

One of the more notable ones went like this.

"This is Krista Tyler and this is the Beethoven's Cello Son.." Krista started to say before I heard Jade's voice in the background.

"Nuff Practing baby, Jade needs her fuck time."

"JADE!, I'M PRACTCING HERE, CANT YOU SEE!" Krista barked. "Don't you remember our agreement; if the door's closed you leave me alone."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't care, practice on me." Jade snapped.

I could tell by the tone of her voice she was very horny. I instinctively knew that tone. Just hearing that, made my insides stir a bit. I felt like I was eavesdropping and it did make me feel a bit awkward but it was sort of funny. The fact that Jade did to Krista some of the very things, she would do to me.

"Practice What?"

"You're tongue exercises. I only came once last night. You're slipping."

Krista huffed. "You're not going to leave me alone aren't you?"

"NO. Jade want's her fuck time." I could practically see the pout on her face. I know that pout all too well.

"Since when do you speak in the 3rd person Jade?" Krista said, sounding a bit exasperated.

I could hear Jade's voice begin to fade; I presume she was walking away. "Move it Krista, don't make me masturbate loudly while you're trying to record. These walls aren't too thick you know."

I heard a visible growl. "We'll get back to the beginning of Beethoven's Cello Sonata No. 4 in C major as soon as I fuck my horny and annoying girlfriend senseless."

Thankfully I didn't have to hear that. The song itself started only a few seconds later. Like the other one it was very beautiful.

I can see why Jade loved her so much. She was direct, and funny. But as I put the CD's back, I felt that sense of heartbreak return. Jade had lost her and due to her own actions. I can't even fathom the pain she was in.

I heard someone opening the apartment door at this point. So I walked over and saw Jade's mother in the doorway. She must have a spare key, I'd guess.

"Oh…It's you. Where's Jade." Allison said in a low tone. Is it me or did the temperature in this room suddenly drop about 50 degrees.

"She's exhausted and sleeping in her room. I took her to Krista's grave today. She's still very broken up about it."

"Of course she is." Allison snapped. "You should have let me take her to Krista's grave."

I could see the hatred in her eyes as she stood there in front of me. "Jade's checking into the psych ward at Mercy Hospital tomorrow as in inpatient. She's severely depressed and emotionally distraught. She needs professional help."

Allison seemed to grow angry. "Yet another decision you make without consulting me.. Aren't you just the lucky one. Using Krista's death, to worm your way back into my poor Jade's broken heart and her bed." She said swiftly, every word dripping with venom.

Instantly fuming with anger, I took several steps forward and got right in her face. "Look Mrs. West. You don't like me and I don't like you. But here is the simple truth of the matter. Yes, I am still in love with Jade, as much as I ever have been. I to this day, feel terrible about what I did to her. But in all honesty it breaks my heart to see the woman I love, in so much pain. If I could, in some way make it, so Krista could walk through that door and take Jade in her arms I would. Even if it meant, me taking my place in that grave. I love her that much, I want to see her out of pain and misery that much. You don't know how much it tears me up inside to see Jade like this. This is not about me or even us. This is about Jade and what I can do to help her. I'm leaving Saturday morning to go home and I can only hope the people around her that she needs, are there to support her when I'm gone. People like you. So stop being a selfish bitch and start being a mother." As dramatic as it was, I meant every single word of it

I don't think she expected that. As I finished my speech, her mouth fell open in shock and she took a step backwards looking as if she had been struck.

"And for your information I am staying here with her tonight, but I'm sleeping on the couch. Krista was a talented, funny woman who made Jade very happy and I would never do anything to disrespect her memory. So until you're going to act like a real mother, get the fuck out."

That seemed to finish her off. Her arrogant, self important demeanor quickly seemed to vanish. I could see her hands' began to shake and her lip began to quiver as it looked very much like she was going to cry.

"Just…Just…Have Jade call me in the morning." She said, sounding stunned.

With that Jade's mother quickly retreated and left the apartment. I had just completely destroyed Jade's mother and I'll tell you, it felt dam good. Maybe that will knock some sense into her.

Again I could hear the sound of Imaginary Jade laughing.

After collecting my thoughts and calming down, I returned the music room to retrieve my pizza. But before I did that I peeked my head into Jade's room. She was in bed, asleep.

"It will be alright Jade. I promise." I said softly before closing the door.

**The two classical music pieces I mention are both quite real and quite nice. They are both for solo cello and I figured that would be something Krista would play. **

**I wanted to find a way to bring her into the story, at least just a bit. So I had a bit of interaction between Jade and Krista there. I hope you liked it.**


	8. A life without

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 8 – A life without…**

**Tori's POV**

The rest of the evening went uneventfully. I figured I probably crossed a boundary by listening to the practice CD's so I kept out of trouble for the rest of the night and just watched TV. Around 11, I decided to go to bed myself. Jade had been asleep for hours and so far I hadn't heard a peep from her. I did check on her from time to time and she was just fine.

As Jade said, the couch folded out into a bed. Thankfully there were already sheets on it. I made a quick search and found a blanket on the shelf of a linen closet. Soon enough I was in the dark, lying in bed.

My mind couldn't get off of Jade who was sleeping only a few rooms away. Part of me wanted to crawl into bed with her so badly. Not just for me, but because I know she needs someone to hold her. I love her so much and I wish there was more I could do. I was so close to her after all these years, yet so far. Those were my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

Sometime later I awoke to the sound of Jade's voice. As my eyes snapped open I could see that it was still night time. Checking my phone, I could see it was 3:04 AM.

"Krista?" I could hear Jade's voice call out, sounding distressed. As I got out of bed, I could see in the dim light, a figure move from the hallway leading to the bedroom towards the kitchen.

"Krista?" Jade said again, sounding upset.

I sprung off the bed and rushed to Jade, putting my hand on her arm. "Jade, Jade. Are you ok?"

I could tell by the look in her eyes she was almost completely out of it. I'm not sure if this is considered sleepwalking, but it certainly looked like it.

After a moment she looked at me with hazy look in her eyes. "Krista, I…I…woke and you weren't there. I couldn't find you…I." She sounded very worried.

She must have had a dream or nightmare and now she's looking for Krista. She's still half asleep. My heart ached when, I realized she thought I was Krista.

"Jade, it's me Tori. You had a dream. I'm sorry, but Krista's gone." I said as a tear came to my eye.

It was then I could see the realization creep back into her eyes. Her whole form just seemed to wither on the spot. "I'm sorry Tori. I dreamed about her and she wasn't in bed with me. I was looking…" Jade said before she started to cry.

"I miss her so much, Tori." She said as she fell into my arms.

I gave her back a quick rub. "I know you do. Let get you back into bed."

Jade whimpered as I led her back into her bedroom. All of this was so hard for me, so hard to keep myself together. I just wanted to cry for my poor Jade.

I put her back into bed and as before she fell asleep almost instantly. Once I was sure she was safely asleep, I left the room. I then went into the bathroom, shut the door and broke down into tears. I had been strong for Jade ever since I had arrived and I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

I quietly sobbed in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, then I carried myself back into bed. I couldn't' sleep at first, but I eventually managed to fall into a restless sleep.

I woke about 8:30 and quick check revealed a still sleeping Jade. So I took a quick shower, got dressed and made some phone calls. I called Cat to say how the night went amongst others. As soon as I was done with that I started to make Jade breakfast, like I would do so long ago. It took me a few minutes to find everything but I eventually got started.

I guessed Jade would be up soon and in any case the smell would wake her up anyway. Sure enough, when I was about 90% of the way finished I heard the toilet flush. A few moments later, she came walking into the kitchen. Her hair was a mess, she was wearing no makeup, and she had that lost look in her eyes. For a moment she looked at me then a look of slight disappointment ran across her face. I knew that for an instant, she was hoping I would be someone else.

She wasn't much of a talker in the morning, so I smiled and handed her the cup of coffee that I had already poured for her. She nodded, took the cup and silently walked into the living room, where she sat on the couch.

"Breakfast will be ready in about 5 minutes." I said trying to be cheerful.

"Thank you." Jade said with little emotion as she turned on the TV. She messed with the nextflix and a minute later I could see the intro to the cartoon, Courage the Cowardly Dog. If you haven't seen it, it's about a cowardly dog that protected his owners from various curses, monsters etc. It was a rather dark and at times disturbing cartoon. It fit Jades rather dark sense of humor perfectly.

I finished breakfast and took the plate and juice out to her, placing on the coffee table in front of her.

"I took the liberty of calling the psych ward at Mercy Hospital already. They do have room and are awaiting your arrival. I spoke briefly with a Doctor Elizabeth Worden and gave her the basics. She understood and thinks you're doing the right thing. I hope you don't mind that I took care of it for you. When I found the blanket in the linen closet last night, I even found a suitcase. I took that out for you. I can help you pack, when you're ready."

Jade sighed and looked up at me. "Thank you. Sit with me and eat."

I fixed up my plate and sat next to her, as we watched the cartoon. I wasn't sure if she remembered thinking I was Krista so I decided not to mention it.

"I hope you don't mind, but I listened to some of those practice CD's, I found in the music room. Both Beck, Cat and Andre all told me she was very talented. They weren't exaggerating. I enjoyed listening to them very much."

Now I really cringed, I half expected Jade to explode but she smiled. "I'm very glad you did."

"You know it's just a suggestion, but you may want to take some of those and put them on your pearpod. That way you can hear her play whenever you like."

Jade nodded. "That's not a bad idea."

Jade didn't seem very talkative so I just quieted down and we ate in peace. I got the feeling Jade just wanted me nearby, which I was happy to oblige. After we both finished, I grabbed the empty plates and took them in the kitchen.

"I'll clean up." Said Jade.

I waived her off with my hand. "Shoo. Take your shower, watch TV, relax. I'll clean up."

Jade frowned and tried to move past me to the sink. I quickly got in her way and gave her a steely stare. "Don't make me hide your favorite pair of scissors. So leave this kitchen, NOW!"

For a split second, she looked angry. But as quick as that look came she turned round and walked back to the living room. Jade remained mostly quiet during the rest of the morning. She showered and got dressed. I helped her pack and we prepared to take her to the hospital. We decided to go to lunch before taking her to the hospital.

"Where are we headed?" Jade asked as we pulled away from the curb.

"How about Nozu, for old times sake?" I said quickly.

Jade nodded with a hint of a smile. "I'd like to eat there again."

So we had lunch and Jade was a bit more talkative, but not a whole lot. She asked me about my life in New York. I told her my career was doing ok, but I wasn't getting very big parts. I knew she had has some acting successes. I enjoyed lunch and I think Jade did as well, but it seemed very bittersweet.

Eventually we finished lunch and drove her to the hospital. We checked her in and took a brief tour of the facility. It seemed very nice, the rooms seemed less like hospital rooms and more like hotel rooms.

After the tour, the nurse left Jade and I alone, so she could unpack and get comfortable.

I was looking out the window where I could see the Hollywood sign off in the distance when I heard Jade say in a soft voice. "Tori, I know you're going to be leaving soon and I want to talk with you."

Sitting down next to her I could see she looked a bit nervous. I'd guess it was about something she had to say.

"Before you speak Jade, I'm supposed to go home tomorrow morning. Do you need me to stay?"

Jade paused for a moment, as if to collect her thoughts. Then unexpectedly she took my hand and looked me straight in the eye. I felt strange with her holding my hand. It was a nice strange, but still strange.

"First, you don't need to stay. I don't want you to lose your job or jobs. You've sacrificed enough for me already." Jade then took a deep breath and began to speak again. "I've been trying to think of what to say to you all morning and this is the best I could come up with. I could merely say thank you for your help but that wouldn't come close to cover it. You saved me. If you wouldn't have come I would still be catatonic. It was only when I heard your voice did I even begin to try and fight my way out. It was you talking about your impulsive mistake that gave me the strength to finally break free. Even if I wasn't catatonic and you weren't here, I would have opened up my wrists by now."

I could see the various emotions in play, as I read the expression on her face. Just before she began to speak, a single tear came to her eye.

"I heard you last night talking to my mother. The voices woke me and I poked my head out the door. I heard everything you said."

I gasped audibly, as I never suspected Jade heard me admit I still loved her. I so feared how she would react. There was no point in denying what was the truth.

Suddenly a tear appeared in my eye. "Jade, for what it's worth, I meant everything I said."

Jade smiled. "You have no idea, how much those words mean to me. That you would value my happiness, over all else."

Jade sniffed and wiped away another tear. "All those years ago, I didn't handle it well. I was wrong. I'm not sure how I should have acted, but just cutting you off without even giving you a word to explain yourself wasn't right. I just want to say that I both sorry for how I acted and.."

Jade squeezed my hand. "I forgive you."

I had never ever expected to hear those three words coming from Jade's mouth. They hit me like a freight train. I was quickly overcome with emotion and covered my tear filled eyes. I still didn't feel worthy.

"You Can't, You Can't I cheated on you." I stammered out.

"Stop that Vega! I'm here because I have to learn to live with my mistake. And the first thing I'm going to have to learn is that people do make mistakes. So please, tell imaginary Jade to shut the fuck up. Because I forgive you. Just as I hope to be able to forgive myself someday."

Jade then let go of my hand and with her one hand pulled me into a hug as I started to cry. "I didn't come here to gain anything. I just wanted to help you Jade. When I saw how much pain you were in, my heart simply broke."

I had been forgiven, that was more than I could have possibly hoped for. Jade now knows that I still love her. But I has to end there. I can't possibly think of trying to get her back. Not now at least. Now simply wasn't the time.

"Thank you Jade!" I said through my tears.

She put her forehead to mine, a gesture she used to use as a sign of affection so long ago. "No. Thank you Tori Vega. I'm safe now. I'm where I need to be. You got me there. No one else could have."

For a single tender moment we quietly and tearfully looked at other.

"_I guessed I misjudged you Vega. Sorry. You did good. Were cool and good luck_." I could hear imaginary Jade say, as she her voice slowly faded away.

I wanted to stay in this moment forever but it quickly broke and Jade pulled back away from me. Her features once again becoming guarded, as she wiped her tears.

"I'll call my mom. Hopefully you knocked some sense into her." Jade said as she stood up.

I got off the couch. "Oh, before I forget. My mom said to tell you. Call her when you're going to get out. She'll make up some food for you to eat. Stuff you can just heat up."

Jade for the first time in the trip briefly smirked. "Your mom is determined to watch over me isn't she?"

I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

With that, she walked me to the door to the ward. I didn't want to leave, but my job was done and I had to.

Jade put her one good arm around me, pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek. "See you round Vega."

"I'll be checking up on you. I'd hate to see all my good work go to waste." I said with a smile.

Jade smirked again briefly. "I'm sure you will."

I grabbed the door handle to leave but paused for a moment. "Hey when you get a chance. I'd like copies of some of those practice tapes. Krista was a wonderful talent, it be a shame not to enjoy her work."

Jade made a sad smile. Will do, and thank you."

With that, I walked out the door and door and heard it lock behind me.

The next morning I was at the security checkpoint of the airport, ticket in hand. My mother was had driven me and was seeing me off.

"I'm so proud of you Tori. Poor Jade was so lost and broken. You saved her." My mom said with a quick hug.

"I don't want to leave her."

My mom nodded. "I think you need to. She needs time to mourn and heal. Give her a bit of distance. Keep tabs on her, but not too often. If she still loves you, she'll come to you when she feels the time is right. In the meantime, I'll play the part of the adoptive mother and keep an eye on her for you. She needs support and David and I are happy to give it."

"I've talked with Cat, Robbie, Beck and Andre. They've all know the basics and are willing to help her out.

I gave my mom a final hug and said good bye.

An hour later I was on a 747 heading home to New York. Heading home to a life, which much like before was a life, without Jade. I don't know if she still loves me or even could. I know I'm not going to get that answer anytime soon. I also know it's a bit selfish to think of getting Jade back at all right now. But I feel like I'm the only one that can protect her fragile heart. In any case, love me or not, Jade needs her time.

It was a life without Jade, but maybe not forever.

**I'm winding up this story. Only one or two chapters left. I am looking forward to getting back to "The Bet."**

**Well Jade is in the psych ward where she'll get the help she needs. Tori, much to her relief has been forgiven for cheating on Jade. Something she never even expected to get. **


	9. Full Circle

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 9 – Full circle.**

**Authors Note: Were going move forward a bit as we wrap up the story. I will speed things up a bit as well. **

**Tori's POV**

15 months have come and gone since that day I left Jade in the psych ward. She stayed there for just over two weeks. The counseling sessions and various types of treatment did help her at least get a grip on things.

Still she wasn't out of the woods. I did talk to her on the phone and in emails. I would ask how she was doing and say what ever I could to raise her spirits and build her confidence back up. My agent's, as I like to call them, kept close tabs on Jade for me and gave her tons of support. I was referring to my mom, Cat, Beck, Andre and Robbie. My mom has Jade over to dinner at least one a month. Its funny, Jade has a better relationship with my mother than her own.

I even heard that Jade's relationship with her mom has improved somewhat. I here she's a still gank, but Jade tells me she's making more of an effort to connect and be supportive. Perhaps I did knock some sense into her. Jade tells me that were making progress, on a somewhat of glacial pace, but its still progress. Her father has been distant, but supportive.

Thankfully, Krista's parents didn't blame Jade for the accident. She confided in me soon after she went into the ward is that was a prime worry of hers. But they, like everyone else who knew Krista, mourned her loss and tried to move on. Having some money, they did create a music scholarship in her name.

As I said I did speak to Jade, but not terribly often. Generally every couple of weeks, though I suspect that she knows I keep very close tabs on her well being. My mom was right that I needed to give her some space. If I had suddenly been calling every day and acting like it was old times, she wouldn't have been able to heal properly. I hear she's doing well, though she has her bad days.

Within a few months she got back into her acting career, with a small television appearance. Since then she's slowly worked her way back and doing well, now having a reoccurring role on a nighttime television drama.

Our relationship is strange. We are friends now, but there's a slight awkwardness. I avoid talking too much about our past. I concentrate on the present and helping her. She misses Kirsta. Though she's doing better, she struggles at times. She generally contacts me on her bad days. Some days she's more open with me than others. It just depends on her mood. Some days she acts like I'm her very best friend and confidant I the world. Some day's she very distant and cold. I'm not offended though. I just need to remind myself that the woman she loved and was planning on spending her life with, is dead.

There is another reason I haven't made it back and don't have too much time available. After years of being on the chorus line or small parts I finally nailed a big role. About 6 months ago I auditioned for a Broadway revival of the Musical, Chicago. I was originally going to audition for one of the smaller roles but on a lark, went for one of the two principal leads, Velma Kelly. That was the role that Catherine Zeta-Jones played in the movie.

Much to my surprise, I got the role and I beat out several other actresses that had much longer resumes than me. We officially opened 4 months ago and have been packing them in ever since. The production got great notices across the board for me and everyone else involved. I even hear some talk about me being nominated for a Tony award. I'm not going to hold my breath on that one, I'll believe it when I see it. I'm being noticed and I'm getting offers for roles. During a break in production of my musical next month, I'll play the role of a model suspected of a ghastly sex crime on an episode of Law & Order SVU. The funny thing is that the role was a woman who was abrasive and possibly a sociopath. I simply did my best imitation of Jade from our high school days and promptly got the part. I was able to quit both of my jobs and found a nicer place to live. I even have an agent now.

I haven't dated at all. I've had one or two brief flings as you would call it. But the girls in each case knew that I wasn't looking for any relationship. There's only one woman I want to date or be in a relationship with. Sadly that woman is on the other side of the country, nursing a broken heart. I don't know if she loves me anymore anyway. She did forgive me. I did feel some lingering guilt, but over time it's mostly faded.

Other than an occasional email, I haven't even spoken to Jade in 2 months. She's been doing a film in Hawaii for the last couple of months. She only got back to L.A. a few weeks ago. I hear its some big sci-fi thing.

I'm waiting at the airport today. My mom is flying in today which is Thursday and flying out Sunday night. It will be a girl's weekend in New York City. I only have one show to do on Friday night and I've got a front row seat for my mom. I've got some other fun stuff planned.

Seeing on the board I could see that my mom's flight had just arrived but looking all through the crowed of people coming from the gate I didn't see my mom. After a few minutes I began to get worried that my mom missed the flight.

Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned swiftly around to see Jade, smirk and all, standing behind me. I think my heart leapt, I was so happy.

"Surprise" She said.

"Jade!" I said as I threw my arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. I was happy but terribly confused a the same time. In any case, it was soo good to see Jade in the flesh again.

After I broke the hug I gave her a rather puzzled look. "Jade. What? I was picking my mom."

Jade chuckled. "I'm afraid your mom played a trick on you. She said she was coming when it was me the entire time. When I came off the plane I wore a wig so I could sneak past and surprise you."

My jaw dropped open. "Wha…."

"To be honest Vega, I didn't even know about it until 3 days ago. You're mom has been a great help to me in the last year and I talk to her a lot. She suggested that I see you but I knew you were busy and to be honest a bit afraid. I was just being silly, I guess. I was having dinner with her and she handed me a ticket and said. Tori thinks I'm coming and has cleared her schedule with the exception of one show which I am supposed to watch from the front row. She said. Jade I know you want to see Tori, take my ticket and surprise her. This is my gift to you."

I was totally blown away and speechless.

Jade just took my arm and started to walk with me. "It's true, I've been wanting to see you. Get a chance to talk more. Take me to baggage claim while you're powers of speech return."

I didn't know what this exactly meant. I know she feels like she owes me a lot and we are friends, so I'm trying not to read too much into this visit.

Soon enough, we've picked up her bags and are in a taxi heading to my apartment.

"Big Broadway star now Vega, huh." Jade said with a proud smile.

"For now. We'll see how long this particular ride last's. Fame and fortune can be very fickle at times."

The smile on Jade's face slowly vanished. "I take your meaning." Jade then seemed to think for a moment, with a rather sober look on her face. "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. John Lennon said that."

I suddenly felt very stupid. "I'm sorry Jade. That was a stupid thing for me to say."

Jade half smiled and took my hand. "No, it was the truth. It's just that sometimes; the truth is really fucking painful. But we need to face it, regardless."

After a few minutes of silence Jade appeared to cheer back up. "So what do you have planned for me? Besides front row theatre tickets."

"Well after we get to my place, my mom or you were going t sleep in my bed while I sleep on the couch. Well it's just after 1 now, but we have reservations and a nice spa and then dinner at a nice resturant. Tommorrow I show you around, what ever you like to see."

Jade's eyebrow raised. "Can I see the building's on the front of Led Zeppelins, Physical Graffiti album?"

"ahhh….sure. Then you'll see me on stage from the front row. Saturday was going to be a shopping day and see Time's square. We can change it if you like"

Jade shook he her head. "Nahh… Sounds fun. So is this spa with snooty ladies eating tiny sandwiches and ass kissing attendants? Cause I want my ass kissed."

I just laughed. "Don't worry Jade, I'll see to it you ass gets kissed."

Give me a chance Jade, and I'll do it myself. I do hope she's coming here to start something. Just being here is making my heart beat faster.

I turned to look at her hair. "You still have your hair long, what is it about 2/3's of the way down your back. I like it. You just look so good. You're smiling again. I like that."

"Thank you." Jade said with a slight blush.

Well we stopped by my apartment. It's a one bedroom apartment. It's small but in a very nice building. I could afford something bigger but I'm being a bit frugal. Jade seemed to like the place. She noticed the picture I have on the wall of us together. It was taken on vacation in Cozumel at a bar. I could see Jade's smile broaden as she looked at it.

We then headed over to the spa, where I treated Jade to what ever she wanted. She got the massage and a laundry list of other things. I think she just liked people waiting on her, hand and foot. I just had the massage and facial. I paid the attendants a bit extra to see that Jade got the star treatment. I could see that Jade was enjoying herself immensely. So much so, she was hardly mean to the attendants at all.

After that I took her to one of the most exclusive sushi restaurants in New York. Being the star of a major broadway show, I was quickly able to get reservations. A year ago when I was unknown, I couldn't get reservations there if I took hostages.

Dinner was great and Jade and I had a great time. She would occasionally look sullen when the subject of Krista came up but she a 1000% better. I could tell she wasn't quite the same Jade as before. She seemed to choose her words more carefully and was a bit more hesitant to make fun or insult others. I knew the guilt was there, in the back of her mind and probably always would be but she seemed to be getting a handle on it.

There was a sparkle in her eyes that I hadn't seen in a very long time. As the night went on it seemed less like two friends having dinner and more like a couple having dinner.

I had in mind heading to a nightclub after dinner but when we came out of the restaurant Jade turned to me and said.

"Hey do they have those horse drawn carriages that take people round the park or something."

I was a bit stunned. Those were very romantic, my heart began to race. "Actually you can get one across the street."

"Good, Come on Vega. Let's go." She said quickly.

As we crossed the street, we spotted a carriage pull up and a older couple came out.

Crossing the street, I noticed that Jade began to look a bit nervous. It seemed like she was anticipating something. Now my heart was practically beating out of my chest.

A few minutes later we were on our way in the carriage, in an evening looking more romantic by the second. I was half paralyzed. My mind was racing, what was she going to say?

Suddenly she took a deep breath and inched closed to me. "I came to New York, not to just see the city or visit you. I came to have a talk with you. One that I couldn't have over the phone or by email. I had to be with you, I had to see your eyes when I said it. I wasn't even sure when I wanted to say it, but I can't wait any longer."

"Go ahead." I said as I realized my hands began to tremble.

"I've was practicing this speech the entire plane ride here and I'm sure it will still sound horrible, so here goes. I loved Krista and I miss her. It's just a fact. But that being said, I miss you too Tori. After our breakup, I hated you and was bitter for a long time. Krista helped me move forward. But then everything changed in an instant and my whole world had been shattered. I was in such a dark place and you saved me. Just your voice made me want to break my catatonia. During those first few days, just you being there helped me. Not only that, you held me while I cried and saw to it that I got help. You saved my life."

A tear appeared In Jade's eye which she wiped away.

"It was when you told my mom that you would give your own life up for my happiness, did I realize that I how I truly felt about you. I had buried all those feelings down in side me. Hearing that jolted them all lose. That last day when you left me at the psych ward, I wanted to tell you how I felt, but I simply couldn't. My heart was still broken and it just wasn't the time. I needed to mourn. But after that, you supported me and I know kept close tabs on me."

Oh my god, Jade's going to tell me she still love's me. Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…..I love her so much. I think I'm going to faint.

"Tori, my heart is still a very fragile thing. But I need to move on. She'd want me to be happy. There is only one person in the world that I would trust with my heart, who could make me happy again, make me want to live again and that's you. I love you Tori Vega, I always have. Please be with me again, even if it's only dating. I can take it as slow.."

That's all she got out before I tearfully threw my arms around her. I could no longer restrain myself. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I love you so much Jade. I just want you to be happy. I would do anything in the world to make you happy."

I pulled back and put my hands on her jaw's pulling her face close to mine. "I love you jade, I'm still so sorry for hurting you and driving away. I'll make up for everything I did wrong a thousand times over. If you want to date we'll just date, if you want me to be your girlfriend just say the word and you'll have the happiest girlfriend on earth. You're so beautiful, special and wonderful and my heart ached for you seeing in so much pain. I just wanted to take it all away. I know I can't replace Krista, but I'll love you forever. Oh my god, I'm rambling." I then realized I was rambling at an extremely fast pace.

Jade smiled. "You can't replace her, but she couldn't replace you either. You're both different and special. I need to love again and you are the only person I want to love."

By now I was a mass of happy tears. "I'm so happy Jade, I'm crying."

Jade wiped away one of her tears. "So am I."

I had a thought. "But you live in L.A.?" I would quit the show and move to be with her.

"You suggested a new place to live. New memories or something. I've been thinking of coming out here. I told your mom a few weeks ago that I still loved you and wanted to be with you again. She told me you've stayed single in hopes of me coming to you. I'm sorry I was afraid of coming sooner. Just telling you all of this was hard. I know you loved me, but I need a bit of a push. Your mom did that."

We just looked into each others eyes for a moment when jade put her arms around me and slowly pressed her lips against mine. Even that slow tender kiss sent a shockwave through my whole body. I immediately let out a moan and opened my mouth. Taking the initiative, Jade deepened the kiss and thrust her tongue into my mouth. There was a quick dance between our tongues, but I let Jade dominate mine.

As we kissed and cuddled in the carriage I began to think of the weekend we would have together. I also thought of how fortunate I was to have a second chance. But I couldn't help think of Krista and I hoped that wherever she was, she finds peace.

Out of tragedy had sprung a new relationship. A new hope for the future. I'm not sure how fast things would actually go or what our status was, but Jade and I were together again and that's all that mattered to me. I would guard, cherish and protect her heart the rest of my days.

**I hope that didn't seem too rushed but I want to wrap this up. There will be one more chapter. I'm hoping to have the next chapter of "The Bet" out sometime next week. **


	10. A New Beginning

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, it's characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**The Last Resort**

**Chapter 10 – A new beginning.**

**This is the final chapter of the story. It won't be terribly long and will wrap things up.**

**Tori's POV**

After the kiss, Jade put her head on my shoulder and silently cuddled up next to me. I knew she not only wanted to be with me, she needed to be with me. I could just sense it. The whole ride was magical and would end up being one of the happiest moments in my life.

After the ride ended, I took Jade's hand and began to walk down the street. Jade still hadn't said anything, but she looked at peace. This was one of those times where Jade was content to simply be with me. Words weren't even needed. It was almost like my presence and confirmation of our love, quieted the storm that had been raging inside of her.

"I'm a bit tired, from all my traveling today. Mind if we cut it short tonight." Jade said, breaking her silence.

Though happy, I could also see she was a bit tired and jet lagged. I was looking forward to a night on the town; I would now be getting a chance to do some serious cuddling. At least I hope.

I nodded and waived my hand to flag down a taxi. "No problem. You do look a bit tired."

"Thanks."

I got lucky and a cab pulled right over. We piled in and were on our way back to my apartment.

After a few moments of silence she took my hand. "Would you like to be my girlfriend again? Officially? It's not like I'm going to date or even want anyone else. I don't want anyone else, ever."

Once again I couldn't restrain myself and threw my arms around her. "God, yes, always yes. I'm going to make you the happiest Goth ever. You've made me so happy. I could just cry."

Jade laughed. "A happy Goth? I'm not sure if there is such a thing."

I playfully punched her in the shoulder. "You know what I mean."

Jade just smiled. "That's what I'm counting on."

We got to my apartment building and got in the elevator. As we rode up, Jade gave me a small kiss. But then gave me a slightly pensive look. "I'm not sure if I'm quite ready for us to…."

I kissed her on the cheek. "Jade, I'm just happy to be with you again and you do what you want when you feel right." I said it in my best reassuring tone of voice, which seemed to quickly have its desired effect.

"Could you just hold me tonight?" Jade said.

The thing is, that she looked so completely vulnerable as she said it. It was evident in both her eyes and tone of voice. Once upon a time, Jade would never dare show a hint of vulnerability to me. Now I'm the only would she would even think showing this side to. The only other person she would have shown this side to, is dead.

I leaned in to give Jade deep passionate kiss. "Tonight and every night after."

That seemed to please Jade as a smile formed on her ruby red lips. After a moment it morphed into a rather distinctive smirk, as we reached my floor.

"You do realize, you'll be watching the scissoring at least one a month for the rest of your life." Jade dark humor had suddenly returned.

I involuntary groaned, "Only once a month?"

Jade commented cynically as we exited the elevator. "Watch it Vega, you make me watch your crap. Like that time you made me watch the MTV video music awards with Miley Cyrus performing. Shit, it was like watching Hannah Montana on acid. Talk about a bad trip. Miley's dancing looked less like Twerking and a bit more like Tweaking. On top of that, you had Robin Thicke dancing around dressed like god dam Beetlejuice. It took me weeks to get that image out of my fucking head."

"I liked it!" I quickly protested.

"Yes, I figured that you the 4th time you watched it. The only good part was when Taylor Swift mouthed the words, "Shut the fuck up" when Harry Styles was on stage."

We continued to bicker about that rather infamous MTV awards as I let us in the apartment. It was like old times and I couldn't be happier. I could see that sparkle returning to Jade's eyes. When I saw Jade in the hospital, I was worried that would never come back. Ok, Jade wasn't quite up to the sex part, but I simply didn't care.

We readied for bed and though we weren't going to do anything, I was utterly giddy. My favorite part was when Jade went to brush her long hair. I sat behind her on the bed and took the brush from her hand. I then proceeded to slowly brush her long beautiful black hair.

Jade hummed with pleasure as did my work. After a moment she spoke. "You know, I'm not quite the same Jade."

I paused for a moment. "I know. No one could go through what you did and not be effected. I'm not the same Tori either. But we love each other and we are both committed to making this work."

"For once, I agree with you." Jade said softly.

A short while later we were in bed, with my arms wrapped around Jade. I couldn't have been happier. Neither of us said much for a long time. There was something on my mind that I just had to say.

"Jade?"

"Yes, Tori?"

"I know how important Krista and the time you spent together is to you. I don't want to take away any of those memories or stop you from honoring her in any way. Like if you wanted to put roses on her grave on her birthday or something, don't ever think I would object. This may be a strange time to bring this up, but I wanted to make it clear. "

She was silent for several moments and then spoke again. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

I ran my hand up her arm. "I love you Jade."

Jade in return traced and infinity sign on the back of my hand. "I love you too Tori."

Happy in each other arms, our love reaffirmed, we both feel peacefully asleep.

**5 years later.**

Jade moved in with me a month later and quickly got a job on a locally filmed Television show. I continued my Broadway career and eventually did win a Tony award. Jade became a big movie star and things were good.

Jade and I eventually got married 3 years after getting back together. We're still very much in love and happy. I know the guilt still lingers in Jade's mind. There are always 2 days where Jade is quiet and reserved. On those day's I tell her how much I lover her and give her space. One of them is September 29th, which is Krista's birthday. As I suggested, Jade sends a dozen roses with a card saying Happy Birthday to her grave every year.

The other is July 7th, which his the day they were supposed to be married. As I said, she's usually quiet and keeps to herself on those days. I don't mind a bit. Jade did champion the cause of Krista's favorite charity eventually raised several million dollars for high school music programs around the country. Me being a lover of music as well, I have taken to raising money for it as well. The guilt is still there and probably always would be, but Jade had learned to deal with it. The hardest part for her was to feel like she deserved to be happy. She does and I love to make her happy.

In my relationship with Jade, there are 5 days which stand out as the very best days.

The first one is the day she first told me she loved me. It was in the parking lot of Hollywood Arts. I was going away on vacation for 2 weeks and she said it as I was about to leave. I couldn't wait to get back to her.

The second day was the first time we made love. It was in my room on a rainy Sunday afternoon. It was also on that day, I knew I would never love anyone else.

The third day was the day in New York when Jade and I reaffirmed our love and got back together.

The fourth day was the day we got married. It was small ceremony on a beach in Hawaii. I don't think Jade ever looked so beautiful in my life.

One thing though. On the night before I got married, I had a dream. In my dream I woke to the sound of a cello playing from the living room. I got up and walked towards the sound of the music. There in the living room was Krista playing a piece by Bach. It was a beautiful song, played with perfection.

Eventually she stopped and looked at me. I really didn't know what to say. Would she be mad, or upset. I just stood there nervously as she got up and walked towards me.

"She didn't mean to hurt you." I stammered out. "Please don't be mad at her. She's suffered enough."

Krista smiled. "I know she didn't and I'm not mad."

I was confused as to why she was here, speaking to me. "Ah…I'm not sure why you're here."

"I just came her to say Thank You!" Krista said softly.

Now I was really confused. "Why would you thank me?"

She placed her hand on my shoulder as to reassure me. "You saved Jade and brought her back from the edge. Without you, her guilt would have consumed her. Eventually it would have caused her to destroy herself. After that, you loved her and protected her fragile heart. There is no one else in the universe I would trust Jade's heart with more than you. I want her to be happy and feel loved. You've done that and I will be eternally grateful. Good Luck and best wishes."

Before I could say a word, she and the cello simply vanished right before my eyes. I woke the next morning, remembering the dream in vivid detail. That doesn't happen to me very often. I'd always felt a twinge of guilt about profiting from Krista's death. Whether it was simply wishful thinking or something more, that guilt was now gone. I didn't tell Jade about the dream as thought it may upset her. So I kept it to myself. I may tell her some day. I married Jade that day and it was one of the happiest of our lives.

Today, is the 5th happiest day of our relationship. At present Jade is in a hospital bed giving birth to our first child. We got a sperm donor to fertilize one of Jade's eggs and today we meet our daughter for the first time. I simply can't wait and am excited beyond belief. She's been in labor for almost 20 hours and is really crabby. I've also been called nearly ever name in the book, since Jade's gone into labor.

"Ok, Jade. I can see the head now. Just give me one more push." The doctor said calmly to my wife.

Jade grabbed my had and squeezed hard as her face grimaced in pain. "Arrrgggh…." She cried out.

"I'm so making you pay for this Vega. You're having the next 5 children. Got it!" Jade vented out in frustration. Looking down I could see our daughter emerging.

"Oh my god, I can see her." I said quickly.

The doctor moved in closer and supported the baby as it came. Out. "Just one more, Jade and She'll be free and clear."

With a final grunt Jade pushed out our baby. I instantly began to cry see our first child. She was so beautiful. In a flash, the cord was cut and the baby checked out by the doctor. I kissed my wife, who was exhausted and looked like hell. But frankly I don't think she's looked more beautiful than ever.

A few moments later, the Nurse wrapped the baby in a pink blanket and put her in Jade's arms. As soon as she looked into our daughters eyes, she burst out crying.

"Oh my god, she's so beautiful." Jade cried, as her eyes filled with tears of happiness.

"She certainly is, Miss Vega-West." The nurse said with a smile. "What is her name?"

Jade looked at me for a moment as if to get final approval. But in fact she needed no approval as I saw it a fitting tribute to a very special person. In fact it was my idea, much to Jade's surprise. She liked the idea very much in fact.

Beaming with pride, happiness and Joy, Jade looked at the nurse. "Her name is Krista"

Hopefully she will grow up to be as wonderful, talented and kind as her namesake. With Jade and I as her parents, I have no doubt.

**The End.**

**Well that's it. They are married and in tribute Jade and Tori name their daughter Krista in tribute to her. All is well.**

**I couldn't resist having Jade comment on last night MTV, VMA'S. Though from her perspective they happened some time ago. **

**I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing and reading my story. **


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